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Dave Bonta
how many bury tomorrow in a castle
I will make a home
in that land without a road
and if I miss some things I will forget
by degrees the way of living under
a sense of want
Noon broke.
I walked alone, taking
notice of the ground—
a future of mine
which I shall be glad
to exchange,
raising our roof higher
to enlarge
our first moor.
I had a fine walk
in the fields—
the home I ate.
a nameless fear approaches
the crickets fall silent
i hear thin things
like teeth chattering
a heart thudding against
its slaughterhouse pen
my caught breath
turns tenuous as a frayed rope
i hear myself saying go on
you don’t exist yet
oh future
voracious as a vacuum
my own appetites have changed
i can count my ribs
what else would you have
me consume
Deep in the woods, a small sun-starved blueberry bush is having its best year ever: it produced a flower for the first time—a perfect yellow bell!—and a forest bumblebee with pollen on her feet found its nectar. Now the green berry swells.
What bird will find it when it assumes the color of the sky? How far might its seeds travel? That’s how suddenly the future can change on you.
forest floor
striped with shadows
swallowtail
Remembering a time in my life when I still found people interesting and believed in the future. I think I’m happier now that I have no particular expectations.
once again
finding my fly unzipped
war though it be
I have myself an if
an owl is not fit
to see green
or we to see which
tomorrow we conceive
I never thought I would give up my life so easily,
I was taken back by your words and held onto them tightly.
Now I still hold onto them, although I look at them with no trace of thought,
I was never happy with you, I was scared and frail,
You taught me many things, and told me I didn't deserve most of life itself.
I had wished that I had put my life aside that day, but now I crave being alive.
I crave seeing my future, and where it will take me.
I look forward to seeing my partner and speaking with them.
I am older and decided to save myself from the darkness your finger tips had held.
My chest doesn't hurt before I sleep
I want to live
I want to decide for myself
I want to love and hold my hands out
Do not look
to the future.
It needn't necessarily come.
The present is now,
whether you like it or not.
Disbelieve what smart people tell you
Past is the only truth.
The past is yours, yours alone,
Undeniably, unchangeably,
Indelible, burned onto your brain,
Scarring it forever.
On a summer morning
Shake it all down on a mat,
Lay it on the sun,
Warming,
Watch it turn brittle,
Uncomfortable
In my own home
Crawling
Under my own skin
Itching
At my own mask
Fighing
From my own cage
Comlacent
In my own life
Hurting
To my own self
Waiting
On my own future
whatever cheesy feeling they talk about feeling in movies i feel it with you.
from the first time i saw you,
to every time since then.
i never knew a true home until i found your arms.
and now i never wanna leave.
the butterflies in my stomach, mixed with my heart beat tell me one thing.
and my brain knowing it can't be this way forever say another.
i wish i knew a way to change time, or fast forward it
because i'd make sure you were my future.
because i know when i look into your eyes,
i feel it when i'm with you.
i know when you say say that you're mine,
i feel it with you.
i feel as though time punishes us.
when we can be with each other time moves faster than ever.
Day 4th
I love you
Is that not enough?
I adore you
Is that not enough?
I want you
Is that not enough?
I miss you
Is that not enough?
I proclaim my love for you
Is that not enough?
I sacrifice my youth for loving you
Is that not enough?
I sacrifice my beauty for feeling sadness of being the unmissed one, for you
Is that not enough?
I live my life for you
what we make you inherit
we say ourselves inheritors
of all we are mostly unseen
all we can change or can't
and will or won't
our debris insights skyscrapers
word or insect bites
cocky unsure in inequality wars states
wanting to pass down green
sun-blessed greeneries or symphonies
or vulgar croons
We work read news sometimes
protest make gardens birdbaths poems -
try. Meditate to tap real
subtler realms our
inner light.