all my walls came down — Summary

lyndsey599Romantic

let me tell you something. let me say the questions i think about out loud just for a moment. why in the fuck did our hands fit that way. why the fuck could i breathe so easy around you. all my fucking walls came down that night. every single fucking one of them. it felt like i was 7 again. before shit started going down in my life and i learned to protect myself physically and mentally. i grew stone walls and people wrapped the poison ivy vines around them trying to get under my skin. i built walls and fences. i planted myself in the ground at eight years old and i haven't moved since. people have tried to uproot me and move me but here i stand frozen still, unmoved. but around you that night, i took a look outside of my walls and fences and pushed all the vines away to see what the world was like outside of this hell i built. and all i saw was you. it was so fucking easy to breathe i stepped outside for a moment, reached out for your hand and jesus christ, it was perfect. that alone made me feel a way i havent in years. like i was fucking free for just a night.

Show the whole poemHide the poem

Learn Poems app

Try the Learn Poems app

Everything from the website trainer, and more: new exercises, voice recording and sharing, reminders, quick review.

The speaker is stunned by one night with another person, when the defenses they've spent years building suddenly fell away. The opening is raw and almost breathless, a string of angry-sounding questions that are really amazement: why did their hands fit, why was breathing suddenly so easy? The line break on "every / single / fucking / one / of / them" makes the collapse feel slow and total.

The central image is a garden turned fortress. The speaker describes stone walls, fences, and poison ivy vines that people used to get under their skin, and says they planted themselves in the ground at eight years old and haven't moved since. The poem hints that something went wrong in childhood, though it never says what. With this person, the speaker pushes the vines aside, looks out, and sees only them. The mood is relief mixed with disbelief, and the ending, feeling "free for just a night," carries a quiet ache that it may not last.

Read also

More by lyndsey599

All poems
Sadlyndsey599

part 26/heres to

here's to the conversations i'll never have, but have ran through them a million times in my head. -suffering in silence.
Angrylyndsey599

fists.

when i think about you, i don't want to drink about it anymore. i want to punch the wall with both of my fists till they bleed, i want to scream and i want to cry.