«That song comes on again.» — Summary

That song comes on again. That song I've been avoiding. That song I've banished to the bottom of my playlist, Hoping I'd never listen as far as that. That song talks to me. That song makes me 17 years old again, Bringing back the memories of who I was then That song makes me quiver And shiver to my bones. Icy hands reaching in through my ears, clawing at the back of my neck, holding onto my spine, pressing down on my lungs, gripping my heart, And somewhere deep down underneath my soul is hiding, trembling That song reminds me of You. What you were, what you are, what I was when I was with you What I am now I am without you. Where I've been, where I've come Where you are. That song reminds me of Me. How I dressed, how I walked The way I talked, the way I laughed Always smiled without teeth Always pulling my hair, playing with the rings on my fingers Writing to you almost every night Just to check, if you'd reply. You don't write me anymore That song comes on again. That song I've been avoiding. That song is banished to the bottom of my playlist, Hoping I'll never listen as far as that, Ever again.

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Martina Rakar's poem is about a song that drags a person straight back into a past relationship. The speaker has tried to bury it at the bottom of her playlist, but it comes on anyway, and she can't stay in control. The repeated "That song" makes it feel like a habit she can't shake, or something circling her.

The feeling is fear mixed with grief. The song is described as icy hands clawing at her neck, gripping her heart and pressing on her lungs, while her soul hides and trembles. Then the poem turns to memory. The song reminds her of "You," but also of her younger self at seventeen: the way she laughed, played with her rings, and wrote every night to see if someone would reply. The quiet line "You don't write me anymore" is the sharpest moment.

The mood is haunted and sad. The ending repeats the opening, but now she hopes she'll never reach the song "ever again," which suggests she is stuck in the same loop.

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