WHAT I DID AFTER YOU LEFT HOME — Summary

Mary F. C. PrattMarch 24–November 16, 1999; Jan. 30–April 20, 2001Cheerful

Went to New Orleans, walked alone in the early morning. They were opening windows, washing down the streets. Are you ready, M’am? An old man stood on the cobblestones, beaming in the steaming light. He held reins in one crinkled hand, extended the other to me. His brown horse shook its head, bells rang. Ready? For what?

Are you ready for a buggy ride? I had not planned to act like a tourist, but how could I do otherwise in this unexpected land, this place I’ve never seen? The people sitting above the tall red wheels were talking and laughing together like people in a painting, or a play. The driver cocked his head, waiting for my answer. I asked the cost. There was no reason to refuse.

I placed my damp white hand in his, my hand with the split lifeline, the single crack foretelling a single child. Twenty years ago a sibyl read my palm: You’ll live long, but two lives, different. You’re a musician. And try not to be so stingy. Yes of course I’m ready, I told him. Boost me up.

You, I’m afraid, would have been disdainful, cool. You would not have approved of me, sweating in my purple dress, gawking, singing along, leaning out behind the horse’s bobbing feathered head above the spinning wheels in that impressionistic light.

I felt a city dawn that day, saw men in stiletto heels and black stockings prancing down the shining sidewalks, artists reaching for long moist shadows, women like statues, painted gold. The city smelled like fresh coffee, sour beer, things frying in lard. On every bright wet corner were little children, dancing.

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A woman, alone in New Orleans after someone has left home, takes a morning walk and ends up saying yes to a stranger. An old driver offers her a buggy ride, and though she hadn't planned to act like a tourist, she can't find a reason to refuse. The title suggests the "you" who left is a child, and the poem hints that she is a mother dealing with an emptier house. Judging by the text, she imagines that "you" would have been disdainful of her sweating in a purple dress, gawking and singing along.

That imagined disapproval makes her enjoyment feel like a small act of freedom. She remembers a fortune-teller's advice to be less stingy, and here she lets go. The city she sees is vivid and slightly unreal: men in stiletto heels, gold-painted statues, smells of coffee and frying lard, and children dancing on every corner. The mood is warm, playful and quietly hopeful, as if loss has opened a space for a new, livelier self.

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