Nikky's poem is about a heartbeat the speaker can't quite trust, and maybe can't quite bear. In the first stanza the speaker says they sometimes forget the heartbeat is there, then immediately doubts it: maybe it isn't there at all. The last line turns this around. Perhaps the doubt isn't real uncertainty but a wish, a hope that the heartbeat would simply stop.
The second stanza repeats the pattern, but now the heartbeat hurts. The speaker forgets the pain, then second-guesses that too, and again ends up admitting they wish it didn't hurt. The trailing dots suggest a voice fading out, tired or unwilling to finish the thought.
The mood is heavy, hesitant and quietly sad. The short, looping lines feel like a mind going in circles, unable to settle on what is true. Instead of explaining the pain, the poem lets it hover, which makes it feel more personal and more raw. The heartbeat seems to stand for being alive and feeling things, and the speaker is deeply conflicted about both.