I was always alone — Summary

I was always alone... I was always silent... I was always broken... When you reached out your hand and told me "it's okay", I was never alone... The dimples on your cheeks made my small heart open up to you... The bright look in your face astonished my cold soul... I fell in love with you... I fell in love with your deep, shallow eyes which reflected the deep ocean of your own thoughts... You shook off my hand, Told me to leave... I was left alone... I was left empty... For the love which I had made me tremble in fear... I was always alone... Always silent... Always broken...

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The speaker begins and ends with the same three admissions: always alone, always silent, always broken. In between, there is a short stretch of hope. Someone offers a hand and says "it's okay," and for the first time the speaker feels less alone. The details she notices, like dimples and a bright face, show how quickly a guarded heart can open when someone is kind.

Then it falls apart. The other person pulls away and tells her to leave, and she is left "empty." The most interesting line is the explanation: her love made her "tremble in fear." The poem suggests that loving someone is almost as frightening as being alone, because it gives the other person the power to hurt her. The phrase "deep, shallow eyes" is a puzzling contradiction, and it may hint that she sees depth in someone who can't return her feeling.

Because the opening lines return at the end, the mood feels circular and bleak. Nothing has changed, except that the speaker now knows what she lost. The repeated ellipses make the poem sound hesitant and quiet, like someone speaking in a low voice.

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