only one (lol)

It is still here, still present in my mind. The neglect, the rejection. Never dying. Only growing stronger with every tear. Like a virus, a cancer, it taunts. Beginning in my heart, it spreads across my chest in a sheet of smooth, constant pain seeking to reach, to poison my soul. OR, could it be my soul is already sick? Unable to restrain this emotion, or UNWILLING? Is it so that I have become accustomed to this way of living? How do I become FREE FROM MYSELF? This cage of sensitivity that causes me to feel and experience every memory of rejection that my mind possesses, and recalls the pain from each one simultaneously. I know, this is only a moment, and soon my cage will be opened ; and I will be allowed to resurface from this pit, if only for a while. Life's ups, life's downs. I should be more distracted by the black hole I see my struggling peers willingly jump into before my eyes. I know there is a bigger mission at hand. But every so often, when the SILENCE emerges, and I am ALONE, my personal demon escorts me back to this cage; Where we dance hand in hand until I am freed again.