Be Grateful 9-19-21

Gratefulness.. Wow..that's a tough one..

I mean, yeah, im glad i have a roof over my head Im glad i have clothes to put on my back Im glad i can get an education Im glad i have food that i can snack on

But.. im not grateful for what I've had to endure and get through in the past..

Sure, it's toughened me up Sure I've grown a little bit from it

But what does all of that count for if i breakdown every time im asked if im okay? What does it all count for if I have to struggle with flashbacks every damn day? What does it all count for if I get paranoid that dirty men are looking at me? What does it count for if I can't even take a compliment and think the person is being sarcastic and mean?

Im SO over all the toxic positivity..

They all say "Be grateful you are alive" "Be grateful you have a life" "Be grateful you can walk" "Be grateful you can talk"

But I think they really mean.. "Be grateful you aren't suffering like people how have it harder than you" "Just shut up and stop complaining about your life" "You have what I wish i had" Well.. If you were me, you would hate the word grateful too..