The speaker is worn out and desperate for their own mind to go silent. The poem opens with blunt commands: stop the bullshit, stop the yelling, stop the "genocide in my head." That last phrase is extreme on purpose. It suggests inner thoughts that feel like a war, destroying something over and over. Then comes a small, honest confession: "I only wanted beauty, I got fear instead." The speaker expected something gentler from life and got dread.
The pirate image widens the view. Life is "a sea of gold," full of value and promise, yet it's crowded with people grabbing for it. Everyone is fighting and no one is winning, which makes the struggle feel pointless. The final line, "the feelings getting old," lands as tired and flat, as if even the pain has gone stale. The mood is raw, exhausted, and bitter, with a thread of longing for peace running underneath.