The green eyes — Summary

strahadAnxious

There are many monsters within me But the one that is the strongest has no shape or form save for its eyes. Its eyes are not blue or brown, they are not hazel. They are green. A green that would turn your stomach at a glance, the kind of green one thinks of when met with illness. The kind of green that no art would ever use. They are a green so terrible, that the onky thought that can be associated with it is decay. This monster is not one of rage Not one of sorrow It is one that causes pain, but not physical It causes longing, but not for love It causes hate It's irrational. It can't be reasoned with. It is strong, and once it grabs hold it holds on until you become stronger than it. Not everyone can overcome this monster Not everyone will encounter this monster I face this monster daily, its irrationality clouds my judgment, its pain torments my mind and soul to the point of breaking, but it will not break me because without a host its powerless. I thought myself free from the clutches of this monster, but each thought of you simply wakes it. Even the loveliest thoughts of you are poisoned by its influence. The sweetest of dreams tainted with its hue. One day I wish to be rid of this monster, but I fear the only way is to lose you. And so, this monster, this green eyed monster only grows until that fear is gone.

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Strahad describes jealousy without ever naming it outright, until the final line gives it away: the "green eyed monster." The speaker pictures it as a creature with no body, only sickly green eyes, a color tied to illness and decay rather than anything beautiful. It isn't rage or sorrow. It brings a pain that isn't physical and a longing that isn't for love, and it can't be reasoned with.

The feeling is aimed at someone the speaker clearly cares about. Even happy thoughts and sweet dreams of "you" get tainted. The speaker is caught in a painful bind: the only escape they can see is losing that person, and the fear of that loss keeps feeding the monster. So the jealousy grows instead of fading.

The mood is heavy, tense and unsettled, but not hopeless. The speaker insists the monster "will not break me," and the plain, confessional tone makes the struggle feel honest and raw.

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