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Today you asked me how I was. I said I was fine. But you knew I had lied. So you asked again but I lied again too. Why did I lie to you? Why did i lie to the only person who can understand me? Why? Because I know if I do you will be disappointed. And mad. You will be disappointed that I'm at my old habits. But did you know they're worse than before? I'm sorry I lied but I'm not going to stop. Because If I told you how I felt then you would get worse too. If I told you what runs through my mind again you won't trust me again. And I can't risk that because you getting better means everything to me. So I will continue lieing for your sake.