The Service Revolver — Summary

Sixty-six pounds of snarling anger In the only path to safety For six pounds of cold fear.

A chain squeezes suddenly around the honey-colored throat And the anger moves on,

At first reluctantly, and then Loping along at a goodly pace Wet nostrils flared and quivering.

Ready to sift and scoop up Anything of taste or interest Along the dark and lamp-lit way.

Walking my dog Daisy Whose name belies her vigor and strength Barely controlled by a pact initialed But never formally ratified.

She leads me through the valley of my loneliness Which I measure in the scrape and echo Of footsteps having no place to go.

Walking under an archway of sparse leaved bracken And thick limbs of eucalyptus Thoughts swarm around us In no particular rhyme or meter.

Like the personal black hole Pulling me towards an eventual horizon In gossamer strands of infinity.

And another: at what point in our lives Does it become reasonable To contemplate suicide.

To feel the coolness and weight of one's service revolver Against the weight of continuing to be?

Show the whole poemHide the poem

Learn Poems app

Try the Learn Poems app

Everything from the website trainer, and more: new exercises, voice recording and sharing, reminders, quick review.

On the surface, this is a quiet evening walk. The speaker takes his dog Daisy out along a dark, lamp-lit path, and the poem opens by contrasting her size with her nature: sixty-six pounds of anger, the poem says, standing in for six pounds of fear. Once she's on the leash, she pulls ahead, sniffing at everything. The speaker seems to be more led than leading, held to an agreement that was "initialed / But never formally ratified."

Gradually the tone darkens. The walk becomes a way of measuring his loneliness, in footsteps that echo with "no place to go." His thoughts drift to a black hole and an "eventual horizon," then land on a stark question: when does it become reasonable to consider suicide? The final image, a service revolver weighed against "the weight of continuing to be," is the title's payoff. The mood is hushed, weary, and unsettling, because the speaker's calm, almost conversational voice makes the question feel all the more serious.

Read also

More by Mike Stone

All poems
AngryMike Stone

Moral Dilemmas 8

Nobody is as foolish as one who trusts. Only a fool could be so trusting. Nobody is as trusting as a fool. I'm nobody's fool.
RomanticMike Stone

Night Watch

Sometimes when I come to bed at night I watch you sleep, wrapped up So tightly in your blankets And you're so beautiful that
SadMike Stone

Is This It? #1

Is this how it all ends. Asking less and less from life. Hearing little of the sounds around you. Saying less or nothing at all.