When I Take the Count

When I take the long count, buddy, And I hit the good old hay, Don't ask the boss to leave you off And lose a half a day! Just drop around the night before, When the lights are burning low, And shake hands with the neighbors Who are busted up with woe.

Don't spend a lot of money In buying me some blooms, Just laugh and kid around the joint, Help chase away the glooms; Spend your jack on extra chow And have some fun awhile, To know that you were happy! That would make me smile.

Don't get a heavy tombstone And place it on my chest, I'll be pushing up the daisies And a-needin' lots of rest! A little cross of wood will do And never mind the paint, Paint will often fade you know, And look like what it ain't.

And after you have placed the cross, Pack the ground real hard, That will hold it steady; Then tack on this little card: "He never did amount to much But didn't moan or sigh; And so we place this little cross Upon a reg'lar guy."