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Dave Bonta
our vexation at expecting change in society
an abortive child preserved
fresh in salt
we press the little ex-hand
and after some time at the office
die of apoplexy
close to change
to quit and out myself
otherwise I am
by God’s grace bled
in as mourning a dress
as a clock or an auditor
we mourn the city
and we mourn the street
the change of a great place
into money
some strange fit
of tooth on tooth
out in the afternoon I find it
other than it used to be
one may think a place is missing
when it is only another place
I come to walk in the garden
and see a sea
done with our only sugar
and only me
we hunt a home like the best spoil
walk into the city to be changed
I am ashamed to have seen
a common town
all change is news
a quiet stir to the oak
and the poet
if not conceited
and particular as water
in her loves
perhaps one wouldn’t
call it metamorphosis
the shift of sandstone
back into sand
prized free by frost
or fungal enzymes
grain by grain more gradual
than an hourglass
though so much
less reversible
but why only prize changes
made under pressure
it’s years of weather
that unfather us
daily hammer blows
that shape our addictions
big fake stare
the caterpillar is tired
of being a caterpillar
you can't just make my life better with
your smiles and butterfly kisses and gentle hand on my back,
then leave.
you can't expect me to go back to the way things were before.
you can't expect me to act like you never changed my life.
i'm different now.
i can't handle this new life without your guidance.
It seems today
That the world is run by difference
Things that set us apart
Are both beloved and scandalized
It makes one wonder
Why exactly that is the case
A fear of the unknown, perhaps?
Or even worse, of change?
Deep down inside
We are all the same, no?
What does it matter how you are
In comparison to your fellow person
Or are we?
One could argue that
Every person is unique
In their own special way
Do you ever think about it?
About our luxury lives?
Do you ever think about the costs?
About the costs of our luxury lives?
Do you ever want to change it?
Change your way of life?
I don't think we ever think nor want to change
Change the way of our luxury lives
a kind of nervousness, an impending change
to doom or to flourish? a change in any case
an uneasiness, an excitement; nerves in any case
about to burst, about to fall, impending thirst, precariously balancing all
too much coffee? no, none at all
a heartsickness, a longing; is it here or is it far?
an embarrassment, a harassment; is it me or is it them?
this feeling wobbling like a wave, reminiscent of what saudade gave
the feeling of soaring