Frost soldiers receive dark company: that dead lady, Money.
They all called home and found me.
old gray body
bound for no grave
for no grave
has issued us visas
and i am a law-
abiding citizen
which is to say i suppose
the law is my abode
so this carcass of mine
has standing
and grows more
and more abstract
taxed and insured
vaccinated and boosted
password-protected
two-factor authenticated
summer is dead
i found her green leaf body
at the foot of an oak
in the first snow
blanketing the valley
the smell of diesel
100 feet downridge
there’s a fallen nest
woven from strips of wild
gravevine bark
the trees are becoming
more and more vacant
though they shriek
and moan in the wind
i remember what jesus
said about new wine
in the real world
hills are for cemeteries
from a distance the gravestones
might as well be stumps
or teeth waiting for the other
jaw to descend
a woman lets
her rottweiler run
a gravedigger operates
a small backhoe
i browse the headstones
as if they were spines of books
GIVEN says one and i feel guilty
for killing time
try not to look over
at the mountain
giving my apple core a toss
watching it arc
and land in a forest clearing
i think of you Dad
saying where should i plant
an apple tree today
a habit from boyhood summers
at your uncle’s orchard
continuing into your college days
on a motor scooter
with Mom exploring every mountain
and forest in Pennsylvania
the fall and only the fall
was for apples
culminating in your favorite
the stayman winesap
we could’ve been albatrosses
drifting on the wind for years
able to dip into our shadows
which would’ve tasted like salt
we could’ve been playing cards
given darkness a respectable home
instead having loved the sun
and digested light for a living
we meet our shadows
only at death
lie atop them leaching out
our vital bitters
dead again
the skull fills with soil
a small busy mammal
briefly inhabits it
leaves an acorn behind
in the brain case
which awakens
and can’t go back
feelers root
for the teeming light
mycelia for neurons
no eye but an owl
forest downpour heard
first in the treetops
i picture a cinematic
rain of arrows
or maybe small frogs
like the two in the road earlier
one still moving
the other just bones and wasps
i took picture after picture
on my phone which now
rests like a joey
in a dry pocket
soon the gravel road
is two torrents
and i am a turtle hunched
under poncho and umbrella
spiderlings before we were dust
how we crawled
while you watched the sunset
i watched darkness climb the trees
though the sky never
really gets dark any more
i began growing a hump
as a form of protest
and now it looms invisibly
over my every croak and cry
i call it O for Oblivion
as well as the Obvious
what i thought were spiderlings
was the detritus of their eggs
in the right light
anything can look promising
Thirty years after the sudden death of someone I didn’t know terribly well, what remains? Not his name. Not quite his face, but something of his posture and physique. A strong impression of good-natured and thoughtful conviviality, based on possibly no more than half a dozen conversations, always on the periphery of punk shows. The shock and sadness of his death from a brain tumor. Someone who, on rare occasions when he pops into my head, still makes me smile, and shapes my memory of that whole period in my life. Good times. A good dude.
Wish I remembered his name.
fledgling cuckoo
flopping across the road
adoptive parents
nowhere to be found
poor little rain-crow
didn’t mean to be a parasite
Driving home along the river, I have to turn on the windshield wipers every mile or two because of all the mayflies, the off-white inkblots of their anonymous deaths. Imagine living one’s life in a state of arrested development, and only on your last day undergoing not one, but two radical transformations, one after the other: growing wings, breathing air, and mating just once, having gained reproductive parts in exchange for the loss of a mouth.
spring again
scheduling my first
Covid shot
Maizy the terrier had always traveled in circles — around the park, around the block, around the garden — but toward the end her circles tightened drastically till they occupied no more than a corner of the kitchen. She no longer recognized her own front door and became utterly lost. Except, it seems, on the lap of her life-long companion, my partner Rachel. Her fits become more frequent and prolonged, each time leaving her a bit more impaired. Finally Rachel made the agonizing decision to have her euthanized. She found a vet who made house calls, and when the time came, held Maizy as if she were an infant while the drugs kicked in. Rachel said she felt her relax all over, and then, a few seconds later, simply stop breathing.