there is a theory that says
just a breath away
is an alternate universe.
a universe where there is a me
who is happy and safe and warm.
a universe where there is a me
who has never looked over her shoulder.
a universe where there is a me
in her own home with her own family.
somehow, i
love and hate
this theory.
how can you stand there
and smile and laugh
in my house after all that you've done?
how can they stand there,
relaxed and carefree,
as they laugh
with you?
and how can i be the one who's scolded
for refusing to be polite and
warm and welcoming
to the monster who ruined my life?
i tried returning home today
but by the time i made it up that beaten path
and through the rocky driveway
and past the old broken gate
another family sat at my table eating dinner
it'd taken me so long to go back
that my home stopped wondering where i'd been
I dont understand
Why people seporate,
How people deal with their selves if they upset someone,
how a person could just disappear.
But most of all
how a dad could stop talking to his baby girl
why people can get so upset
who would care more about their girlfriend than their kid
What i understand most is
who i can trust
how hard it is for kids who's dads are gone
who really would do most to stay with me
where I should really be
I maybe not perfect
But I will do my best
If something went wrong
Just come & tell me.
If I may say no
That means I protected you
& We can talk about.
If I may say yes
That means I know what's good enough
Not the best.
If I can't like your partner
That means I've seen something suspicious
& We can talk.
If your upset about me, friends & love
Come near me
& Talk about
Stop blaming me because I can't get high grades
Stop comparing me to my other cousins
Stop saying that Im so far from you when you were a teen
Stop comparing that you're more beautiful than me
Stop dictating me whom partner should I choose
Stop bullying me to my classmates
Stop making me feel so small
Stop controlling me that I can't even hang out my cousins
Stop comparing me to other girls
Stop unders estimating me
Stop blaming me when you have a bad days
Stop blaming me everything was my fault
Stop being insecure
Stop arguing me when crisis comes
I tried.
As I lay drowning in a pool of your lies
I whispered our love story to the lady of the waters
She listened to my every word, dried my broken tears
I became to love her softness and gentle womanhood
I pledged to her my honor and respect above all others
To treat her as my family
A sister, aunt and Mother
Today is a special day for you
What fun things you're going to do
Festivities and cake
Oh, the meals and friends you'll make...
But for me, it's just a Tuesday.
This day's the day your world opened
And you're praising yourself for not having broken
But you don't really see
What this all means to me
'Cause it's just a Tuesday.
It's supposed to be special
It's supposed to be alright
But I'm feeling stressful
And you're glowing too bright
Because today has lost its shine
And I'm losing my mind
One day I was walking
And I discovered an abandoned house
It was an old house, to be sure,
Rotten and strewn about.
Inside this house there were pictures
Of those who inhabited it before
People of all ages
Their lives centered around this old eyesore.
From what I can tell, they were poor
But strangely enough
It seemed like they were happy
Despite it being so tough.
A makeshift swing hung in the yard
Worn from constant use
Despite years of exposure
Not a single string was loose
Sunday- the day when you can be
Yourself- and not let be ruled –
A day to do what you wish to do
And not what others want you to do.
Sunday – the day one could read
Even the most insignificant ad
A day you need brush your teeth
Only when you want to eat.
I have a little duster, of soft
Synthetic bristles – to dust
The books, tables or the shelves
And an old torn shirt to swipe them clean.
There’s something about cleaning,
Dusting, tidying up and swiping.
A fleck of dust, a blotch of stain,
A crack that weren’t there before.
The day on which I was born,
The day on which I will die,
The people whom raised me,
The places where I reside,
The schools where I was a student,
The classes which I attended,
The extracurricular activities I took part in,
The degrees that I earned,
Where I was employed,
For whom I worked,
How long my stay was,
My ultimate career path,
The jokes to which I laugh,
The music that I enjoy,
The trips that I took,
It was all predestined,
I play with you,
I stay with you,
I would do anything for you.
You are my master,
You and your family,
You treat me like one of your children.
Because I am.
But when times get rough and scary,
I act a little wack,
But I know you always love me,
Even when I attack.
I am your best friend,
And you are mine,
A bond stronger than all others,
I am,
Your dog.