how we picture the sea
at the office
where we sat and sat
I lie alone, mind on her face.
In the church chancel, the mouth of a whale,
bigger than bad weather.
I keep myself in the open,
wake to piss.
This desire to be here
or to be there: all day
under sail, the money in
my hands, the fine moon
walking upon the sea…
On an island, I looked for other islands:
smaller, emptier, round as up-turned
coracles barnacled to the shore.
I watched yachts catch the only sunlight
and thought of prized, greenstone axeheads
sunk in ceremonial lakes.
Smaller and smaller my longing grew
until it could almost fit in a watery pocket.
And yet these islands could not be kept:
they were Holy Islands, they were bird islands,
they were columns of cooled magma,
they were the skulls of ancestors
who had been killed three times—
once each for sky, land and water.
Here are their collars of bog iron,
their round houses roofed with turf.
I have four blankets on my bed:
one is the color of a clear winter sky,
one is the color of the river,
one is the color of the Atlantic ocean
& one is the color of your eyes.
Lying under my four blue blankets
I am warm, too warm, I toss & turn —
not like an airplane in a winter sky,
not like a salmon swimming upstream,
not like a buoy riding out a storm
but like a piece of grit
in a drop of salt water
exiled from the blue of your eyes.
Wonder
I wonder what your doing right now,
Wondering what color is your shirt,
Wondering how it smells...
Wondering if your wondering about the things I wonder of you...
I want to stay with him all the time,
I wanted to hug he and say
"It's okay, you did it right."
I want to read a book with him,
I want to cook for he,
I also want to feel his warm body,
I want to hear his voice,
I want to be the only girl in his mind,
I want to hold his hand,
I want to feel loved too,
I want to stay with him all the time,
But can I get him?
Just because he doesn't exist?
Along the wires
That connect my laptop to the mutiple pins
That connect my mobile to its charger
That connect the speakers to its charger
That connect my camera to its charger -
Wires, looped, coiled, twisted, splayed like intestines pulled out -
Along the wires walks an ant.
It could be walking (?) through an unending maze
Entrance and exit confused
A path directionless, destination-less .
What is the ant looking for - food, I presume
Though I would like to fantasize
That the ant is searching for -
Meaning of life? Ho ho ho!
Through the haze of smoke that drifts up from the cigarette
I try to look at the way I am going, the whys and wheres of it.
Tierra del Fuego, Land of Fire! How further long
How many days and nights – or would it be months and years
Or – would it be never, I shudder to think.
How further long would you come to me in my sleep
In my waking hours, in my walks in the mountains
How further long would it be when I touch you finally?
Tierra del Fuego, you have remained a dream
Decades old, when unable to resist you, I tore off a picture
And kept you in my treasure chest, locked in the depths of my heart!
I yearned for you so much, Tierra del Fuego!
You were a kindred soul in my tempestuous youth.
Your trees twisted in the storm
Storms, passionate and intense,
Raging waves lashing against the cliffs
There! I have lit a star
Beside your name!
I scroll down my Inbox
Where stars twinkle next to you
Every time, every time you wrote to me!
Every little message, every little word
You wrote
Is a thought – of me!
In this dark and silent night
I read you, over and over
And you light up, once again
My room, my lonely heart!
I wish I could make a garland
Of all the stars one day.
I will keep it ready
For the day you’ll come –
Like the lands I will never see
The books I will never read
The minds I will never learn.
If only one could be everywhere!
If only one could see them all!
I could’ve loved more –
And, in return, be loved –
Just a little!
Now we have started
to come back,
the fast is longing.
the light of cast foreshadows all else.
We are bent upon it,upon the way.
There isn't enough light until we bring ourselves
Say it only once,that you may know.
Still
There isn't enough light until we bring ourselves
For caught up in the wind,
we stand before,
we have knelt that way
And
There isn't enough light until we bring ourselves.