I never thought brown would be my favorite color
Until I saw her eyes
Why do I love you?
Maybe it's because
When I'm around you
I realize my smile
Isn't fake
Before I could leave
You stopped me
And pulled me into your warm embrace
Your light hint of
Cologne
Engulfed my senses
Intoxicating me.
Your touch was long and
Lingering
As we pulled away.
Being in your arms felt like
Home.
And I never want to let go.
I drew you flowers
But all you did was pick then
I feel in love with you because
You loved me
When I couldn't love myself
He liked into my eyes and said:
I don't want to fall in love with you
I don't want to love you
And I smiled
I don't know what to do with your love,
Plant it somewhere where the grass
Meets
The earth until it breaks into a run,
Maby?
Until it arrives in our back yard with dew
Drops
Falling on to the porch as though they were
Tears
Instead of rain
Do I feed it? Treat it hungry?
Do I can it your name?
I dont believe you Love me.
Not from this view or look on your eyes.
Maybe is my heart, this fear in my path.
Or maybe is my past, such tragedy, a trauma that lasts.
I dont believe you Love me.
Not by the embrace, not by your beating heart.
Maybe is my future, untold and unseen,
The reflection of anxiety that covers me to my feet.
I dont believe you Love me, because I dont even Love myself.
Such hipocresy, such lie, such dangerous compass.
If I cant even do that, why would you settle for Love,
When toxins are all that are releasing, this tragic Song.
I just need to tell you,
Even you're more than enough,
But for the same reason,
I still scared.
Leave me,
The one who always overthink.
I'm sorry.
A lot of times.
Even if i need to hold your hand.
I would.
I'm so sorry.
I can't handle this.
You can't handle this.
I'm too scared.
I don't want to take a risk.
I don't want to be hurt anymore.
I don't want we hurt each other.
I don't want to feel like this.
I'm not even ready.
There was a year where i need to heal.
This thing.
Is going to kill me inside.
If one day.
I look into your eyes.
Hug you tight.
Clingy with you for the last time.
Hold your hand.
Crying infront of you.
Touch your hair.
And said that i love you.
Please.
Don't said anything.
I really mean it.
Sincerely from my heart.
I truly love you.
I'm sorry.
Sorry because i love you and i am the cause you are in pain.
Sorry.
So, when i told you.
That loving you almost make life worth it.
I was not joking.
When i tell you.
That loving you almost make me forget how i hate myself.
It is not a poetry.