Three years ago I was stone,
free from pain, content—
no joy or urge.
I had a great deal of light,
one room,
and I sat.
Ill
in pain: im-
patient.
All
night and
all this day in
great pain.
Off
me.
My mouth dare
not speak
my consent.
My pain, give me
an ointment, a plaster.
My mother.
The common axe
pierces, singing
between wedding and grave.
A heart put in a closet
is a loss of great concern,
but a heart in the prison of sex
will find too little to grieve for.
Ruin is our ointment.
The other is a match to any pain.
Time as thin as pain,
yesterday lessened
and pretty,
we invent a bespoke
weather of the hour
and find things
to own and talk to.
long in my blood
full of blood sick
lying on my back
in pain my arm tied up
my waiting word
and I hear a doctor
reach out and turn
to ash
swans over the house—
his great body in pain
refusing to go
Blessed pain, I lived in Axe Yard
disturbed by the river, an army without desires,
handsome but poor;
worn chapel of time, made this day.
Pain with pain,
water into water:
I have so much wine
I water myself
and hew me a lodging
in a dark bed.
High heels.
Portable pinnacles
to teeter on for others’ titillation,
back arched as if on the edge
of orgasm or some lovers’ leap.
The spine loses its spring
& the feet their feeling.
Toes in a too-small toebox
jostle & twist like
a litter of kittens
tied up in a sack.
OWE OWE OWE OWE
OWE OWE OWE OWE
OWE OWE OWE OWE
OW OW OW O WE
i hate talking to you,
but i wish our conversations never end.
the pain of hating the one you loved so.