Laboured breath, squeaking knees
Crunching pain in the lower back
Stench of garbage ride up the nose.
Passing by people, sleepy dogs
Newspaper boys whizzing by
Cycling, cycling, cycling
Cycling on a great Sunday morning.
Old men on cycles pedaling by
I could love them, warts and all.
Sticking up my nose at the bikes and cars
Cycling, cycling, cycling
Cycling on a good Sunday morning.
Smells of the sea wafting by
Drone of the jets sweeping by
Caw of the crows flying by
Roar of the waves lashing by
I sat on the hard wood above the
lapping waves below me
an ashy cig in the corner of
my pink lips
the dust off my youth falling
from the tip and into the world
each breath slashing a whip against my bruised back
the memories of you float on
rotten debris in the water
drowning every smile
every laugh and yell
I flick the cigarette into the sea
watching your ashes dissipate in the water
and only time will tell
if they will wash back ashore
but in the meantime
i could feel it from the moment I saw you
you would suck me in
mix me up
and rip me up like paper
you left me screaming
wishing for the end
clinging to hope that hung off the side
of ever standing cliffs
overlooking the sea of misfortune
and yet I was still on your string
you could yank my limp body back whenever you were bored with you latest puppet
and for the rest of eternity
I shall keep the string
it shan't fray
it shan't knot or twist
and I will make sure it is safe
October leaves jostle in sedge.
Unleashed greyhound bolts.
Kittiwakes plunge aloof.
Morose sea fidgets.
The nerveless cliff
Will not ground your load.
I have taken responsibility for what I've done
Loving you without a way to get out
An endless sea of misery
Questionable decisions we made decorating our colorful past
Leaving the comfort of what we were
to join what we thought was needed
Creating bliss which only lasted a few years
The broken hearts mangled by shattered glass and yet I'd go back
empty promises and yet I'd go back
cracked ribs and yet I'd go back
for HIM
I am a city
the greatest of all
But just like the others
the greatest will fall
Messages around me
coming in, going out
Solving people's problems
is what I'm about
My powers are fading
I'm tortured by quakes
It makes me unhappy
my sanity shakes
Now people know me
but in a few years
they only will know me
as "drowned in his tears"
Twigs are what I call them
Wrapping me in embrace
My cell grows flowers
My cell grows fur
Green flowers for me
Green fur by the sea
And almost everywhere am I blue
Top to bottom
I'll never wake up
Coma but a light sleeper
They call me mother
And treat me like the dogs they
Themselves
Bark at.
When your heart is broken
Tears taste like soap
When you cry for people
They taste like the sea
And self-inflicted losses
Like nose bleeds
But when it's all three
You're dead.
the sea used to feel like a void keeping me away,
I realise it's a journey I must take,
one to get to you.
they say distance is hard and time is a blessing,
no. distance isn't hard it is a measure of strength,
you need strength to cross that space..
for you I would,
I'd run, climb anything... anything to be with you.
you give me a light, a hope.
you give me an inspiration to write these words.
the nights are long and the days are short with you but every second counts...
every smile and every word fills a void I didn't know I had,
you are the first person I think of in the morning and always,
always the last person I talk to.
The first time you said you loved me I felt the weight of the world ease,
I miss the way you hold me tight and tell me you want more time.
In those moments it feels like we have nothing but time and after you're gone it passes too fast.
Blink and you might miss something,
I blink and I miss you.
You're not one I can call mine,
You wander and change like the tides of the sea.
But one thing I know about the sea, it will always come back to the shore.
I am that lonely shore waiting for your water to grace me, but times are different now.
They're difficult.
I cannot call out to you and ask your return,
It isn't like that anymore
I just wait patiently, never moving, never changing.
Watching time move swiftly as days turn to weeks,
weed that hides rock
white deceiving chalk
could crumble under dead pine
i would risk those cliffs down to sea
white first
my eyes have greeted you
my tongue and lips felt your chalk white
no kiss that touch
i have come from algier
my son
the heat is here still
with us
where boats stop
my son dead in white cunt sand
could scream white dust
i can smell your scream marseille
white plumed reeds
above yerba buena
-a clear dry smell
but
the fact of Nature
so complexly given
i was no more of it
than you, a
swift mindless carrier beyond
beyond that one
so perfectly real
in wanting, and
no thought then
seemed deeper
white plumed
sea reeds