akchiis

frost, i breathe in, the freezing air filling my lungs, bleeding into my veins, chilling to the bone, as it spreads throughout me; a network of ice just as a cobweb, and i am the pitiful prey trapped by nature's embrace. teeth chattering, reddened skin pricks at sensitive nerves threatening to fall apart any moment, a frostbitten heart ceases to beat no more. for acceptance is one that cannot be forced, for it is nature's law that love has its destiny, for it is our right to refuse another.

i dedicate to you, a single moon flower, pristine ivory petals delicately resting upon its fruit, arrangement reminiscent of the stars in your eyes. vines curling amongst the thick foliage of the vast woods in which giants roam, in this land of fantasy where i bloom, just for you, at the darkest hours of the night, where my affections lay.

i dedicate to you, this pearl of lune, even as it spills out of my lungs, reducing me to a heaving, beautiful mess with its vines creeping into my heart, wrenching out whatever there is left of this love, taking seed in this hollow cavity of a body which longs, yet is not to ever receive.

i dedicate to you, the mourning's glory, as when the dawn arrives, i will no longer be here. i have expended the last of my beauty, joining the fallen, as beasts once more rule these lands, as i lay in desolate hope,

as i await my new saviour.

i write this with an inexperienced hand, one not yet rough with the calluses of another whose seen nirvana with their own eyes, one not scarred with the hurts of a dozen lost others, seared with the burning flames of life's never-ending pains; but one, smooth as silk, a fresh cloth to be marked and used, before i peak into my unique beauty.

i write with pure ignorance, words of advice forced into these ears, meaning well, of things ive never understood, of foreign lands and the sad tales of sailors who were lost to the sirens prowling the dark waters, looking for fish, but only to be devoured in a pathetic leap of faith. dangling my legs above infested waters, i wonder if i will join the dead, in a cry for love, only to chant affections into the sea foam below, never to arise again.

i write, with eyes who have yet to see the world, living in the same red well my whole life, the same patchwork of the night sky; i have it all memorised. i have seen the same purpled hue of the night for 17 years of my sheltered life, fallen in and out of love with the same constellations through that tiny window, counted the same stars over a painful eternity, dazed orbs dancing around my small room in a died down symphony, one coming to its final chord of resignation, a minor key, for my aching soul.

but let me give you this inexperience.

my hands may not be rough and known, but i can grant you the softness of spring, innocent love blooms into your palms, youth like no other, for you, if only youd let me.

my mind, immature and naive, but there are no locks in this heart of mine. a cave, dotted with hidden gems just for you, if only you trust me with the harness, and let me explore yours too.

my eyes, used to the same glow of twilight, relishes in upturned crescent moons, crinkling with stardust as all i see is beauty, and in it, a music score with no end, no V7 to resolve, a sonata which goes on and on, growing with the new moon in us, flourishing, into something worth living for.

may my hands become battered and torn with my own blood, my mind shattered by the tragedies of life, my eyes blinded by staring right into the sun, reaching for something i shouldnt have; but for now,

let me give my all to you, and let me relish in your best.

the radiance of the sun, nestled deep in this hollow cavity of mine; one which yearns to see the glorious rays of a hope left forgotten. a delightful warmth spreads through my fingertips and is bursting at my seams, filling me with such beauty and splendour; one which pours eternal, everlasting admiration for you, you, you, and only you,

as i bask in its serendipitous luminosity, before i inevitably melt away just as the wings of icarus, and never to see daybreak again.

i bask in the gentle warmth of the morning sun, lying in the embrace of a million roses, steeping myself in the fragrance of an eternity coming into full bloom. the peak of one's life unravels in a magnificent display of vitality and passion, as every fibre of my young soul is elevated to another heaven; heart soaring into the golden glow of the new dawn before weightlessness overcomes me, and i sink back into my gardens.

take these hands and lead me to the windows of your soul. in those autumn depths, let me find myself in these pools of rich amber, glistening with the splendour of a thousand suns, of great mystery and beauty which cannot be gauged by worldly measures alone. let me be the subject of your gaze, sweet and dripping with honey, hexagons moulded into crescent moons grant me the tenderness of a mother to her newborn child; i experience gentle affection, through these all-seeing orbs of yours, as it caresses my cheek, feathery and light as a summer's breeze; warmth radiates from the sun which resides within you, and it burrows deep inside my willing heart.

i dream of you at night, a ghost of your fingertips tracing my back hesitantly, as i imagine your warmth enveloping me, flowing deep into me as i melt into your embrace. i feel your face bury into the crook of my neck; red hot lust emanating through your quickened breath, one i can conjure, one that i know.

i dream of you pressing deep into me, reaching, grasping at the confines of my heart, digits lovingly knocking at the doors of my soul as you engulf me in your love, filling me up as i blossom in your arms, the gaping, wide hole in me filled in a flash; with the illusion of the same coldness gracing my palm, the faint scent of spices dancing in the air, leading me to your ghost which disintegrates into the air as i reach out and-

i wake up, to the coldness of my bedsheets, and a lingering warmth of a heart who yearns; a heart who longs for a past forgotten.

the gentle warmth of the rising sun fills my tired, cold heart with radiant joy, the morning dew glistens with the colours of the rainbow, carefully twinkling under the golden hues, dotting freshly matured leaves as diamonds on this ring over my left hand, a promise which rings eternal, just as your reign over this body of mine. the birds cry their morning plea; melodious etudes of the new dawn ring like wedding bells, the soft echos of their love song rejuvenate my shell of exhaustion as the air brims with joyful exhilaration, sizzling with the energy of a thousand suns. yet, it retains the lightness of a million feathers, grazing my flushed cheeks as i lean into your being. basking in the dazzling beauty of youth, i am lost in your summers gardens, and found in the gentle caress of your rain.