Bayanda Fedrick Buthelezi

Like sugar, you continue to be the only thing in my life that pumps my bloods with adrenaline everytime i consume what you utter.

I just hope that i don't stop feeling like this.... and that i continue to feel this way as if I'm stuck in a time loop.

I was in awe whenever she smiled. Not because of how chalk-white her nice teeth were, but how her smile always found a way to be an accurate representation of perfection and innocence. I mean...no matter how dark it was in my life, She would simply smile and everything dark would be devoured by the light illuminating from it.

Do you know what it feels like?

To have death stalk your thoughts and follow you more than your own shadow? to have it haunt you as if everyday is halloween night? to be so close it that the smell stanches your skin? to have it mindfuck you every night? to not want to wake up and face reality head-one with nothing but duffel-bag eyes, a tired body and hopes of today being better than yesterday?

Do You?

2 years, That's how long i can go without love. Thanks to my heart, my lungs and rib cages, serving as protective layers, I'm able to store the love i received from my previous relationships For whenever I need it.

I was once a rose, in the garden that i was planted in. I Provided myself with everything that i needed to grow.

Well, that's until you came along, cursing me with your presence. Not only did you stun my growth, You also transmitted a virus

One that continues to foster me in the worst ways possible.

In a garden of wilting flowers, you continue to amaze me by being the only one that's still flourishing.

Why did you pick me? knowing that you would later on struggle to take care of me the same way i took care of you.

No matter how many times i told you, you never bothered to dehead me the same way that i deheaded you, so that i can, like you, maintain my appearance and blossom.

Whenever i see you cry, I'm reminded that a bit too much of something is not good for you. I'm reminded of waves, and how, like people they have the ability to bring joy and also cause pain. I'm reminded that even on it's bad days, the ocean, together with cliffs continues to be a great conductor of the only sound that keeps me sane. I'm reminded that the only difference between tears and waterfalls, is what causes the water to fall down.