Charlieisthebiggay

"i love you," it's a 3-word phrase that when taken out of context is seemingly simple but, in my humble opinion pushing the idea of love on anyone is sickening because "i love you" doesn't always mean "you're my everything" and "i love you" doesn't always mean "you're my forever" and maybe those who don't succumb and never utter the phrase are the ones who have truly found love because i love you, in a way that i don't love anyone else in a way that wants to make you mine, and only mine and its not romantic or sweet it makes me go mad and i know you love me in a way that you love people you care for and its not romantic or sweet yet it doesn't make you go mad and you don't reread every last message i send because you love me in a way that you want me to be happy you want me to appreciate more in life than you maybe it makes you selfish or maybe it makes me weak but i know that if i truly love you as hard as it may be then i'll leave you be because if we aren't together we make better individuals but i'll forever be wondering will you ever say "i love you" and mean it in my way.

some thoughts are better left unsaid, some thoughts are special enough that i think if i were to share them to the wrong person i'd spend my life, trying to get that thought back.

I don't know when but there was a point in time where I stopped lying about having no one else.

i want to tell you everything without you being afraid or judging me i want to mention how my hair is falling out how my clothes fit a little looser how my parents told me that they love me a little less everyday how it's getting bad again but i can't.

The day I got close enough to see the minute iridescent freckles across your face was the day that I discovered my new favourite place. A spot right in front of you, a world built for two. But what happens when the world wasn't built for you, but instead was built for people who, when I think about; are almost taboo. it feels wrong to know that you love another that you're so immersed in her just like how i used you to make my emotions smother. It's sad to know, that the paint on the walls will dry faster than the tears your beautiful eyes have made me cry oh, to feel comfortable in my favourite place again, to love you without betraying a friend. i know this is temporary, as are you. but is it so wrong to desire feeling like i am wanted too?

hate me, love me, do what you want with me, it is not the town itself, but the people from whom i want to flee i'm so deeply apologetic that my own feelings made you feel threatened she puts her hand on my shoulder and my heart flutters it is when i'm reminded that other people think i deserve to die do i look at her and let out a sigh she is more beautiful than the sun and in my heart she could easily win number one but it is other people's beliefs that make our fleeting moments brief people will judge me they will hate me but in the finale i think their hatred is fuelled by jealousy for my love for you is stronger than anyone's love for them even though everyone else will bash us and condemn.

it pains me to know that there was more that melted away than just the snow and as the flowers bloom next spring and the birds begin to chirp and sing i carry the guilt of winter on my back and every-time i stop to think of the season to come i nearly have a heart attack because i thought winter was the most stupid season i'd sit there and hope for spring to come without a reason but as the seasons go by i realise that there is a reason i had to be saddened by winter i know now that if i hadn't been broken by winter drifting away than i will be shattered by spring leaving abruptly

i hate you i hate you i used to tell you that all the time while secretly hoping you wanted to be mine but if i were to see you now i wouldn't say it but to you, i also wouldn't bow i know why i cant say it and it's not because i fell back in love with you or some shit it's because when i used to say it i didn't mean it and i've always been non-confrontational so the reason i can't say it is because over the years it became true so there's only one thing i have left to say; i hate you