I used to play
But now I dont
I say hi
Now bye
I love to play
But I love to sleep
I dont understand
But at the same time
I do
I understand why people are mean
But at the same time I don't
I say I understand
But I dont
All the time
I used to play
But now I dont
For the first time ever in my life
I just realized that I don't have a best friend
There's not a single person in this entire world
Whom I could share my problems with
I thought I had those kind of friends
The ones who won't judge me for who I am
The ones who understand every single thing going on in my life
But I was wrong
Because those were the first of the people who made my belief in the "best friends forever" thing to fade away...
And I feel like gradually, bit by bit, part by part, I am fading too
Into the dust, where no one would recognize me anymore, not even me. . .
My trust in eternal friendship broke the day you decided to leave for a single mistake I made
You came barging in, even when I told you not to
I locked all the doors but you were already inside
Now you keep wandering about trapped in my heart
Trying to find your way out
I want to give you way but, it seems that I've forgotten where I'd kept the keys
I want to let you out
Not for you sake but mine
But I'll let you wander some more
And let you go when it's destined...
end of August
in the shadow of a tree
an old headstone
once
it did not take blandness
to provoke action
once joy was sufficient
once
the smile of a passing stranger
was reward enough
at one time
you would even laugh
without apparent reason
all that is gone
the costume must be chosen with care
the makeup must be correct for the role
once you tried freedom
no longer
for you
it's a stormy day the glimpsed
sun ivory light through
leaden gray.
It was always your eyes
i thought of their
sky blue when glad
so sun-filled clear.
you were also the wind
the endless veils
and clarity after
a storm
with you I felt - yes,
desperate sometimes
but seen.
now your absence says
it's gray today
gold-coral leaves
too rich and transient
to hold this autumn day
loud shots of hunters
I shrink for graceful deer
radios shoot the sky
cold - death of sweaty yellow heat
reaches to snow
sun pales vanishes
sap tree life still
kicking against
frost
left: some clothes and letters
chips on dishes memories
her sisters neighbours
who shared recipes chat
memories of her some
like yours
there was a gap between you
you wanted others in
yet that deep work-a-day back-porch
wordless closeness
pulls you to her -
you die too
now she becomes herself
work struggle worry gone
her crisp voice, sense fill
silent shared rooms
a boy carved his initials
way up high
I'll be a knight he said
a poet lover sage
but they cut
the tree down
he worked dreamed mated
gave birth and lost a child
to death
had a profession comfort
used wood to burn
cosy night fires
flame-coloured flowers
and letters flew
around the room
chastising burning
beside the graves we speak
of new-born children
loudly, laughing where the dead
are deaf the living
clutching them in realms
too gross to hear them
heavy-hearted in warm spring
flowering gay brilliance
black limousines wind slowly
with their grave mourners past the
dark pines piled with
fresh flowers flowers
for life for transience for
beauty to tell of
the dead's latency
as living we walk pushing
They leave us so to the way we took,
As two in whom they were proved mistaken,
That we sit sometimes in the wayside nook,
With mischievous, vagrant, seraphic look,
And try if we cannot feel forsaken.