The invisible strings that held her together
Were slowly breaking apart
And unravelling the mess she kept inside
Dangerously close to her heart.
She felt the tears at the rim of her eyes
Threatening to spill and break free
But she blinked them back as hard as she could
Out of fear somebody would see.
She wanted to appear like she had it together
So she tried to put on a show
But the pressure she placed on herself was too great
And the invisible strings let go.
The teardrops run down,
And fall of her nose,
She cries in dark corners,
Where nobody goes
You can follow the tracks,
From her eyes to her chin,
Years upon years,
Of letting them win,
And her eyes tell a story of anger and pain,
You think that she's happy,
But look again,
Her smile is now painted,
She's a master of disguise,
But you can see it all,
Just look into her eyes.
Some days,
I feel everything at once.
Other days,
I feel nothing at all.
I don't know what's worse:
Drowning beneath the waves
Or dying from thirst.
l looked at a picture of us
You had the most breathtaking smile
What happened to the little girl
that dreamed the impossible
That would hide behind mum
when she was shy
You don't smile much anymore
and the things that do make you smile
aren't who you really are
I miss that little girl
that believed in herself
that thought she could do anything
l'm sorry that I couldn't protect you
From a world that broke your heart
I just want to see you
smile like you used to
I am tired,
not for lack of rest -
no, I slept quite well last night,
and I've had my coffee.
it's something deeper, something
inherently present, in the
fibres of my skin,
in my tendons, in my eyes.
I am exhausted,
fatigued by life,
by the noise and the silence,
the people, and
the empty rooms,
light and dark;
hope and
despair.
My love my love, my pain.
I stopped smiling since you're gone.
I sometimes pretend your arms are still around me. I sometimes pretend your hand is still in mine.
My love my love, my pain.
Do you ever pretend?
I wish we were back in your basement where nights never seemed to end.
I remember the feeling of your hand on my waist. I remember the sound of your heartbeat when we danced.
I remember softly placing my head on your chest.
My love my love, my pain.
Do you remember? When we kissed in silence surrounded by trees.
When we kissed underneath the starry skies. My love my love, my pain.
I miss your golden eyes
The wind whispers
Sweet nothings
In my ear
A silent lullaby
That wages on
Silent tears stream
Down my red cheeks
A reminder
Of the bloodshed
For a moment
Everything stops
And I hear
The wind whispering
Beckoning me
Into the storm
Silently, carefully
My metal heart is tearing me up
With all of its stray pieces coming after me
I try to run but I'm derailed
It's stuck inside taking me with it
I can't hold on and I slip
My chest bursts open
Words pour out giant sorrows
Not quite in but not quite there
I stutter as I force out the unsaid balance
It doesn't work
And I weld my metal heart back up
The scars cover my body
Not a single blank space left
They keep ripping themselves open
I scream for help
But no one else can see them
The half empty bottle of water sits just an inch away
No matter how far I reach, I am not close enough
My throat is starting to fall apart
The pieces lying scattered about me like I'm some sort of broken porcelain doll
I have tried my best here
But my best isn't good enough for you
You, who have taken things from me
You, who took the thoughts from my mind
And the words from my mouth
Now I find myself, dehydrated and bleeding, waiting for you
You took and yet I still expect you to give
As I lay here I am blank
I have no real purpose and a thousand worries
Without much faith I try to cry
I'm tired of feeling
I'm tired of everything
I'm just trying to cry
Thoughts easily overlap each other
No real purpose in life
I try to cry
But I have run dry
Everything is different now
You used to have me
Now you have her
The laughter throughout the night
An echo branded into my brain
Gone, like the leaves on the trees
You share that with her now
Staying up well past midnight
Exploring our darkest secrets
Fitting them together like a puzzle
I guess your pieces fit better with hers
We used to have a never ending song
Always in constant harmony
I suppose not everything lasts forever
Then again, you've known her longer
Yet I linger here, waiting
The Walls are shedding
They dispose of the lies and tears
The "no's" and the "you can't"s
Everything they've seen
Everything they've been a part of
I wish they could speak up
Because only The Walls know me
They were there for every broken heart
Every time I thought I couldn't go on
I still question even that
The Walls are melting
They can no longer withstand the pain
The pain that I feel everyday
As I struggle to sleep at night
And stay awake during the day
The Walls are gone