Not being able to erase you
Throughout this many years
Now has become my weakness.
Even though there is love for you
Even though i care
Even though it hurts
I will still decide not to choose you
I am the ugly sister.
I am the horrible daughter.
I am not the first choice.
I am the "leftover."
I am not the clever one.
I am not the skinny one.
I am the talentless one.
I am the "why are you even here?"
I am just not good enough.
The cloud falling through the blackest oceans,
I can't see or hear a sound,
Only if my heart will beat slower,
Sinking to no where but down
Just a cut
Just a scratch
"What's that mark?"
"It was just the cat"
Just an excuse
Just another lie
"What's with the bracelets?"
"Just fashion."
Just a tear
Just a scream
"Why are you crying?"
"Just a bad dream"
But it's not just a cut, or a tear, or a lie
It's always 'just once more'
Until you die
I was happy before the mist came,
I was kind before the mist.
The mist is taking control on me,
Rapping itseft around my soul.
my thoughts jumble around my head screaming,
I hear voices in my head yelling out my name.
I know there not real but the keep getting louder and louder.
The Mist in destroying my soul,
Beating me down from the inside out.
The mist throws me into the deep abyss of my sorrows,
My fears.
I try to see the end but the mist is to thick to see,
so i stumble and fall, i am brused and beaten.
i seem so close and yet the end is so far.
and soon i have nothing left.
I am falling,
Home is a place were you should feel loved
Not were you feel unsafe
Home is a place were your family is
Not were you feel alone
Home is were your all together
Not were your name is barely none
Home is were love never lack's
Not were family's throw punches and whacks
Home is were you heal and mend
Not were you wish your life would end
Silly little girl,
Don't fool yourself.
They have seen your scars,
Just don't want to help.
You never believed
When I said I cared,
But then, after all,
I guess it is fair.
Little do you know
All you had to say,
Four little words,
"I am not ok"
I am just blabbering,
Moaning as I walk,
Because we all know
You would never talk.
Smoldering ash, hovering
Above my dreams, covering
Every little glance of hope.
Heat like that of the blue sea
Touching the coasts, all I see
Is an ocean of desperation.
First my heart, then myself.
Wake up to my hope itself
In a dense coat of darkness.
From made up to litteral grey
To progress see only one way.
Rage fueling my mind and soul.
Promissed to let it all go,
Promissed to soon throw
My emotions away from me
Promissed to be stronger,
Promissed to hold longer
Than I had held before.
Promissed to live through,
Promissed to find a clue
As to what I am doing here.
Promissed to live in joy,
Promissed to not destroy
Myself as I wish to
Walls made of snow,
Me living within.
Don't even know
Where to begin.
Grey as steel,
Purple as the sky.
Everytime I feel,
I just want to cry.
Voices inside me
Silently screaming.
Death is all I see,
Can't affort dreaming.
His dark raven hair fluttered in the wind of the night
The ship rocks slightly at the force of the fierce sea,
Always blending away in the shadows and standing by at a distance
if only he knew how much he meant to me.
Days pass by, the raven getting more restless in time
Nightmares swarming his mind of beyond even the underground,
The echoes of his silence speak louder than ever
Oh how I wish to keep him safe and sound.
What can I even do for someone like him
It's not like the others like me either,
Just to be there only to fix things
if only I could've fixed you.
And now you're there
unable to even breathe,
I couldn't save you in time and now your blood is in my hands