I'm behind everyone
Because I can't help it
But I hate it
And I love it
You forget
Go far ahead
Run by an uninvited
House
He and I
We stay back
Hoping you'll remember us
Add us into the conversation
But no
Not until we reach
Our destination
Will you stop
I don't have the heart to take myself away again
I don't have to soul to be sad again
I don't have the right to fight again
I don't have the courage to face myself
I don't have the sadness to fake-smile
I don't have the brain to think about this
I don't have the eyes to see right through you
I don't have the ears to hear myself
I don't have the words to explain myself
I don't have the nose to smell something fishy
I don't have the hands to see how you feel
I don't have the shoes for you to put yourself in
I don't have the guts to put pressure on myself
I don't have the voice to say that I'm crazy
I don't have the pain to feel sad anymore
I wish
My friends
Would be happy
I wish
My crush
Would like me back
I wish
My mom
Never went to the hospital
I wish
My dad
Didn't work so much
I wish
My cats
Had no claws
I look upon you, shaking hands and
Shattering teeth and you wonder what
I am thinking when I am
Contemplating
Words I can use to get through to you,
And lie down and think to yourself,
The lights went out,
The lights went out.
There is somewhere
Out in this world
Where peace simply
Exists
And where
Your self-concept
Is clear as day
And happy as ever
There is a place
Where the flat fields
Never curve
Where all you can see
Is a tree
Standing right in the middle
Of paradise
During the spring time
Each day I came home,
I started to see someone different
someone I didn't know.
Every time I saw them
Walk out the door
I saw them love me
Less and less
And him more and more
But now I understand
Why we never made it
And why we weren't meant to be
Now I see
Why this has happened.
I am meant to be alone
and I am meant to be worthless
I am meant to die
All look at me
While I'm walking
Down the street
And
They
Try to get
My
Full attention
But they cannot
Get it
They
All see me
Walking
Alone
In the rain
and ask,
There is no place as my home
The one you have been shown
Is not my home
My home is where their heart is
My home is where ever they travel
My home is no ordinary home
My home is someone who
I trust with all my life
If I were to physically
hand them my heart
I would trust them with it
But my home
Doesn't like me as much
as I like them
I hold onto my home as
my home holds onto me as tight
In his room
You heard begs and pleas
Something you worried about
One day you had the courage
To open the door
But when you opened the door
He was sitting on his bed,
Smiling, as he replied
'I'm fine'
Each night you come home
To find him not in his room
He is out-
Trying to make the pain fade
By anything he could do
And one night
You come home with silence
Shattered soul do smile
Not to hide the pain but
To enjoy the pain.
What is this that I am feeling
I ought to guess its pain
But I am smiling
And smiling doesn't mean you are not hurt.
Feeling empty and numb,
Being unable to explain things ,
Needing help but incapable of asking,
Available and free but not reacheable,
Searching for things but unknown of what
Getting hurt but wondering about pain,