Watching what you love so much
being loved by somebody else
will kill you slowly
I cried when I found out
the love of my life
the one I wanted to be with forever and ever
had left me, cheated on me with another man
I wanted to die
I wanted to scream
I wanted the world around to be just another dream
As I sat I wondered what to do next,
when I suddenly realized
I cheated on her
A happy day talking with no sense.
Then cold night filled my throat with dust.
I was heartsick for being too dense
Asking why and what has become of us.
Haunted by memories of deeds done past
Scars are all that remain
But the sight of my own blood
Is as vivid as if the wounds still wept.
It can be hard to find ugliness
when resolution was never given.
There will always be a beauty
when your closure never came.
There's a simple beauty in the rawness of wounds
Red around the edges, weeping, bleeding
eyes are but wounds to never heal
A cut to never close.
There's tragic honesty in nostalgia
and there's nothing in it that means history;
longing is a nostalgic dream,
a tragedy of needs.
There's something to be said about the color yellow
Of all emotional colors, it is the worst
it's the color that tinges photographs, newspapers,
it's the shade that fades your memories.
Why is it,
that tonight,
I miss you more than
anything?
Tonight,
when I should rejoice
in the love I thought I lost
but instead
wallow in the sorrow
of the love that is gone forever?
I miss you
as you are,
a person,
a lover.
I miss your taste
the flesh of your lips
I do my very
best to just
try to be the
best person that I
can
possibly be. I
wonder sometimes why
I am here, why
have to live
this life that I
didn't ask for.
The life I hate
having to always
please
everybody. Sometimes
I enjoy the pleasure
And goes
And goes
And never gets
Any better
Nor does it get
Any worse
That’s what it is
That’s what my life is
That’s how it’s always been
That’s how it always will be
And I can't break the cycle
No matter how hard I try
So could someone
Anyone
Please help me?
Because sometimes
Why?
You may ask.
Why do you choose
to mutilate yourself?
and honestly,
I don't know
what to say.
Sometimes
I want to feel the pain
I force unto others.
Sometimes
I want to show people
the emotional pain I'm in.
Sometimes
The pain inside me
Becomes too great
The Cloud of Color was out on high,
And The Cloud was a free and loving thing,
Slowly, though, The Cloud faced challenges,
And the color started to leave The Cloud,
First red,
And then green,
All that was left was blue,
And The Cloud continued on,
Forever blue,
Forever sad.
evenly and ivory
in her raw recollection
she reasoned helplessly
at least one of us is wrong
to labor and to love
and to endure childbirth
knowing the worst
would come before the best
should have driven her
to adore one like him
the wind reeked of dust
the seeming and the looking
the fumbling and the fidgeting
she could not bear his weariness
so they slept by turns of the screw
and when the nightshade lifted
he fixed on her
pensive glistering eyes
but would utter naught
he wondered at
how she exalted him
all his vices
yet belittled him
all his virtues
if she was no longer
who once she was
and they were together
forever to be one flesh
who was he now?
her love became words
his words became letters
the swollen space between