Walking through the sand at night
Feeling like an empty jar
Hunger striking like lightning
The desert taunting me
The Moon laughing at me
Sand turns into chocolate
The rocks are now fruits
Ice cream appears everywhere
I eat the chocolate ground
Only to get a handful of sand in my mouth
The grit of shame on my teeth
Boasting chocolate before
Only it's sand now
The desert has lied to me
There is no food
No hope left
A being lacking physicality
Passing aimlessly through the void
Unseen
Most commonly dead
Already reaped
Though
Some can be alive
Forced into solitude
Cast away
The third wheel
Hardly there
Unneeded
A group of friends
Aquaintances
Pushed away
Absorbed within themselves
Life is a Camara
When you are around the people you like you smile
But when you are alone you feel like shit
All the thoughts you hide in the day
Come back and hunt you
Every bad memories come
You try not to cry
But you can't help
You say you are done
But tomorrow comes and you do it all over again.
Can you see my smile
it is fake
it was never real
I wish I could make it real
I try so hard
for it to be real
but I have to be happy
for my smile to be real
I have to have a life
"where can I find one"
is a joke , but it is also ture
it hids the real you .
the real me
it's 5 am
I can't sleep
I can think
about me
the past
my future
my past
is blank
can't remember
don't want to.
the future
is lonly
I am alone
they all finally
left me
by my self
Was blissfully lost in her hazel eyes
Strands of black hair fell softly on her shoulders;
I spotted her creating invisible patterns with one hand
On the hem of the mini wine dress that went just upto her thighs,
Didn't my heart just skip a beat?
She, whose eyes would always crinkle as she smiled
Now stood there looking intoxicating with a scarlet Pimpernel in her hair,
Her other hand interlocked with his.
Hurt, I forced myself to look away
For I had stood staring at her yet again;
She, who simply resided as old pictures and sad memories
She, who had moved on too easily
She, who no longer needed me.
I left hastily from that claustrophobic room unable to take it anymore;
Water falls in the background
Parents, children, students, lovers walk by
Hand-in-hand they go
Me? I'm just a girl dressed in black
A distant, if any, memory at most
I'm frustrated.
I'm frustrated at life.
At reality.
At change.
I cried last night.
As my personal rain quietly fell,
I just laid in bed.
Careful not to disturb my roommate.
Careful to leave my thoughts in my head.
Careful not to dial your number and express myself.
I just wish you did not change so much.
It was me and you.
Against the world.
Then you changed.
We're still thick as thieves,
but lately I find myself not liking you.
I just wanna take a break
A break from life
A break from the world
Most importantly, a break from myself
I feel like I'm not asking for too much
But whatever,
Since I'm so misunderstood,
I figure I'm just gonna numb myself from everyone
Hopefully, even from myself
Once again, I sold my soul for love
Hoping it would be the last time
I would play Alice
Falling down the mysterious rabbit hole
How many times can a soul be sold?
I asked
He laughed
And handed me the paperwork
Here I am again
Negotiating a deal
Signing my name in fresh blood
Losing who I am for the housewife I would become
Again, all in the name of love
Pinnochio and I should be best friends
We dance unwillingly to the rhythm your fingers play
Limp arms and legs dangle freely for your selfish entertainment
My heart is simply a piece of accidental wood placed in my flesh
All feelings and opposition are considered miniscule
Relentessly, I fight your tyranny
Each time, I remain a pawn in your control
Resistance is no match to your retraint
"Dance!" Orders overpower merciful screams
Buried is my hope for a brighter tomorrow
Gone is the desire for individuality
Evaporated dreams seap slowly from my lifeless body
With a painted-on smile, limp arms and legs flip and flop
As you please
Your will be done
For my will is gone
They talked about it again.
The same topic they had since yesterday.
I didn't really care.
Why does it matter anyway?
That I don't fit in?
I'm a blatant, social outcast?
That I'm alone?
Reminiscing about the past?
Nose always in a book?
My reasons that weren't clear?
That you mistook?
Should I try fitting in?
I tried to.
At least.
I was lost again.