Everything we once had
Gone to waste by a single night
We both messed up
We made our bed
Now we lay in it.
All the things that we lost
All the roads that we crossed
Feel like hell since you've been gone.
What can I say?
I never would've guessed it.
I took the last train home
Mainly because it reminded me of
Countless sleepless nights
Watching the sunset
From your couch.
Now I don't know
Why I still call your phone.
Everytime I try
You decline
It's just so stupid
To think you'd ever be mine.
I ain't got no one to call my own
And I never really had a home
But honestly, I'd rather be alone
Writing letters to my friends
That probably won't get sent
Is it ever gonna end?
Will I feel it when I get there?
Lying on the floor
Back against the door
Nothing but silence.
But then I see the pictures
I play some music
I put on a show
It feels like you never left
Then I cry when I'm done
Cause I realize you really left.
I thought I was making a fool of myself
Getting dressed so we could leave
As soon as you came,
But you never did.
I thought you forgot about me
I really thought you did
I guess I was wrong.
What can I say except I don't know?
It's the way I'm built
It's the way I protected myself
A wall between the world and I.
Am I even human at this point?
Please just let me know
Cause I don't know how to live
I don't even feel anything anymore
Nothing at all.
What am I supposed to feel?
Pain, love, happiness or maybe sadness
Well, I don't feel any of those things.
I can tell it's over
Way before it's over
Love is not enough
I really wish it was.
This is pretty hard
We fell down too fast
We both got to play
With each other's feelings
Thing is we got tired
It got boring.
I wish I could forget it
I wish you would forgive me
But every time I see you
I just can't unsee it.
Every damn fight
Like the one in Barcelona.
It was all my fault
You know I'm insecure
I wish there was a way
For you to understand.
You painted us gold
And I made us blue.
I'm so sorry it didn't work
I really wish it did,
At least for you and me.
Too young to remember,
but not too young to understand.
They say all cells in your body are replaced every 7 years.
Meaning your touch has faded from my skin a long time ago.
The sound of your voice is long gone from my mind.
And the good memories I have with you are slipping out of my grasp.
Falling into a void of forget.
All that's left is pain.
Memories of you barely holding on to life.
I tried to hide from it.
I was still only a child after all.
But now I'm filled with regret
And all that's left are old photographs.
I was the moon.
Unnoticed.
Invisible.
Lonely.
Then he came along.
He let me shine.
Made me feel like I finally belonged.
"Was he the sun?" You asked
No.
He was the darkness.
I'm always the therapist friend.
Always helping everyone else.
Always dealing with my own problems alone.
Never having anyone there for me.
Looking happy as much as I can, saying I'm fine, but the second I show even the slightest bit of sadness, or say that I'm not doing good, I'm suddenly "always sad"
How is that fair?
How is it fair that I'm not even allowed to be sad?
When I am old,
Give me white walls
And false family, dressed in green.
Bring me pills
To slow my growth,
And suffocate my dreams.