Nothing matters anymore?
I watch silently
Each day passes gruesomely slow, I can no longer tell whether or not I'm stuck in a dream.
I guess it really doesn't matter how long I've been here.
The room seems to be closing in as the hours pass,
Hours that turn to days then weeks, and weeks to months.
At least he's here with me.
Him.
He watches me with hawk like eyes.
Feeds me each day,
Cleans me up and tells me stories of the world outside these walls.
His voice.
His smooth velvety voice is like an anchor,
He's the only thing keeping me sane in this hell.
His presence alone lights up this dark room.
But I guess it doesn't matter what I feel does it,
It’s a numbing feeling
It starts in the darkest depths of our minds
A mocking echo of nothingness
And then just like a virus
It begins to spread
Slowly but painfully
You try to ignore it
But it’s as good as shaking of an arm or leg
And when it finally gets to your heart
It suffocates you
And you begin to drown in a pool of misery and pain
No lifeguards can save you this time
At first you think the pain is just in your mind
But then you grab your chest and begin to grasp for air
The tears come down slowly at first
But then suddenly begins to pour in torrents
Im laying here
At 7 am
With soft, gentle music playing.
Questioning
Everything
And everyone.
Drowning
In my 7 am thoughts.
Too emotional
Quick to snap
Bad moods
Bad looks
I cant handle much
Too much is going on
Im weeping little by little
Soon it will become
A lions loudest roar.
Sooner or later, it's over.
I just don't want to miss you tonight.
With my mind swarming with horrible thoughts.
With my body trembling from saddness.
I cant afford to miss you tonight.
How do you learn to swallow your toung when
There are
Ghosts between your teeth
Your mouth is a horror
My friend
In my heart
there was a place
locked away deep inside
There was no key
But you
YOU
Broke in
You managed to know more about
me than I know about myself
And that my friend terrifies me
I just need to tell you,
Even you're more than enough,
But for the same reason,
I still scared.
Leave me,
The one who always overthink.
Hold on, don't come closer.
Stop waving and talk.
I just need some.
Of time.
I'm sorry.
A lot of times.
Even if i need to hold your hand.
I would.
I'm so sorry.
I can't handle this.
You can't handle this.
I'm too scared.
I don't want to take a risk.
I don't want to be hurt anymore.
I don't want we hurt each other.
I don't want to feel like this.
I'm not even ready.
There was a year where i need to heal.
This thing.
Is going to kill me inside.
i recall fearing about when a girl would soon capture you're heart.
so that i couldn't reach it ever again.
it was so difficult to not tell you that.
"should i tell him?"
i constantly asked myself everyday i was dropped back home.
it clouded my head like fog on a street.
just everywhere.
until you spoke to me about it.
and how ,
"that's never going to happen."
Mirror, Mirror,
I see you.
Mirror, Mirror,
But you look right through.
Mirror, Mirror,
I know you're there.
Mirror, Mirror,
There's darkness in the air.