Do you ever get that feeling,
A small surge in your chest
That tells you this place isn't right
I don't belong here
I'm uncomfortable?
A feeling that no matter where
You go, what you do, or who you see
Tells you this isn't real,
This isn't right,
Run away or fight
Although the world around you,
Nature in all its glorious forms
Calling to you to be at peace,
Soothes you for a time,
That feeling lingers.
In the dark recesses of you mind,
Under the bed
In my head
Where is the monster?
Should I be dead?
It crawls
It creeps
It sees me
It weeps
The monster feels pity
Then it gets witty
That's when I start to get giddy
I laugh, I cry
All the while
I think I should die
The monster's my friend
The fun never ends
A girl sits
In a pit
No food or water
Just her mind
She need not thrive
But just survive
To control the chaos
In her mind
But the more she tries
The harder it gets
The more the chaos spreads.
A girl sits
In a pit
Some food and water
But not her mind
For that was stolen
I was terrified.
I didn't ....
Want to get hurt again.
But there's nothing wrong,
with giving it
A
Second chance....
Right?
When you see everything in a tint,
Even the red flags
Look normal.
Afraid of being the result of my circumstances,
I fought with all i have
for a life
Where i dont have to check the price tag while shopping
Where i dont need to stress over bills
Where i wont have to worry about the results
Where i do not fear falling down.
And just like that 1999 was 20 years ago.
I'm twenty one.
Can you make the monsters stop
Make them stop
Make them stop staring
And laughing
And whispering.
They hurt me
What do I do now?
Please help
No one is here
It's cold
I'm starving
But wait a second
I know this place
This is my mind
In my house, I sat still
Moments went by like a movie reel
Having blank thoughts about my future
Which made my body and soul rupture
What can I do in this world?
I can either make a joyfull spark
Or maybe a useless fools gold
How will I leave my mark?
will likely come back
disguised as beggars
pleading for your virtue
what you give
lingers like fog
as you find your way
lanterns held high
the world is round about
you can travel miles
find yourself staring
in the mirror
what you steal
will likely steal you
when you aren’t looking
for escape or redemption
The fear of not
being good enough.
A toxic relationship,
with myself.
Through my lips will slip,
What once was written on my shelf.
What I am,
is what I am not.
Never satisfied,
with what I do.
So i'll leave it untried,
until I get through,
with my twisted point of view,
of really not wanting to disappoint you.
I keep my feelings
all stuffed away
in my heart
Like Tupperware in a cupboard
waiting for the day
you forget how full it is
And it all comes crashing down
with once quick glance
inside
After a quick tracking shot along the dark corridor
there's a panning shot of the room.
A jazz tune assails the quietness
and the lamp sheds a yellow print
on the cloths and papers scattered over the floor.
Your thoughts suddenly make a retrospective start,
then they return to the untidy place
–there's always a return–
and they retry their worthless struggle
bending their backs as waves would do.
There's no one in this room
except the invisible hero,
absurd and stubborn, for not in vain
wev'e already made use of a simile that approaches
the magnificent tedium of the sea on the shores.
The furniture is scant and the cold winter wind