hands — Summary

akchiisAnxious

it is now midnight, as it was midnight then. eyes, blinking furiously from the exhaustion, squinting at the phone screen clutched firmly in those two hands, the same two hands pulling me into this trap, this temptation, the two hands wrapping itself firmly around the blue-black veins on my neck, sinking in; the same two hands which fit like jigsaw puzzles into the crevices of shellfish and crustaceans, which ravage and tear them apart, red, burning hot skin torn into pieces; the same hands feeling the cool sensation on the glass protector of the smartphone as the deepest inches of your heart are left in the open for all to devour, for you to lose and be heard;

the same two hands typing on the phone screen, knowing well your deepest fears and joys walk down the same path, one you chose to turn away from, but yet end up chancing across again. it is these hands of yours which plot your demise.

let the vultures devour your heart, left out in the open, as you did before. there will be no miracles this time.

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Hands are the center of this poem, and they do two jobs at once. At midnight, the speaker squints at a phone screen, worn out but unable to stop. The hands holding the phone are the same ones that pulled the speaker into temptation, that close around the neck, and that tear apart shellfish. That jump from scrolling to strangling to cracking open crustaceans makes ordinary habits feel violent.

The speaker seems to be addressing themselves as "you." Typing on the phone, they lay their deepest fears and joys out where anyone can see, and the poem suggests they are returning to something they once tried to walk away from. The final lines are harsh: "let the vultures devour your heart" and "there will be no miracles this time." The speaker sounds self-blaming, weary and almost resigned. The mood is tense and claustrophobic, like watching someone repeat a mistake they already know the cost of.

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