The speaker is caught in that restless moment before something shifts, and can't tell whether it will turn out well or badly. The opening question, "to doom or to flourish?", sets up the uncertainty, and the poem never settles it. All the speaker knows is that change is coming, "in any case."
The feelings pile up and contradict each other: uneasiness and excitement, heartsickness and longing, embarrassment and harassment. Nerves are "about to burst, about to fall," and the speaker even jokes about having had too much coffee before dismissing it. The questions, "is it here or is it far?" and "is it me or is it them?", suggest the speaker can't tell where the feeling comes from.
The ending brings in saudade, a Portuguese word for a tender, nostalgic longing. The feeling wobbles "like a wave" and finally becomes "the feeling of soaring." The mood is anxious and jittery, but it tips toward a hopeful lift.