First Love

I've tried to erase the image of you from my brain, I've tried a hundred times, To take the giant eraser of my mind, And erase, The smell of your too strong cologne- Which is, by far, not too strong now, As my nose tries to grasp on to a scent Too strong from two years ago. I've tried to erase the idea of you from my brain, But it's almost like a punishment, Like scraping gum off the bottoms of desks in high school, You are the gooey gum, Stuck to the desks of my mind, And no matter what, No matter how hard I scrape, Little bits and pieces of you stay in the filaments of my brain, Entangling themselves in the web of my thoughts, Until they grow and grow, And resurface again- Stronger. I see flashes of you when I close my eyes, Just before the pitch blackness comes, I see the smooth chocolate skin, That covers the muscles of your back, Marked by some artist who didn't realize how lucky he was, To be able to landscape on your body. I see that half smile, The way your lips turn and curve at the slightest things, Those dark eyes that hide your emotions so well, That strong back similar to Atlas, I bet you once held the world as he did, At least you do to me. I still have your jacket in my closet, Your boxers in my dresser, A jewelry box filled to the brim, Stuffed neatly with all of your letters. First loves are love's lasts, And love's lasts are love's firsts, I have it all mixed up in my head- This fairy tale image of you that will never stop, Until I realize that the only way you'll love me back is in my dreams.