The speaker keeps asking "did I mention?" as if they were trying to remember something small, like a forgotten errand. But what follows is anything but small: prayers to be happy, self-hatred, crying at night, a wish to "end it all," and a painful tangle of feelings toward someone who crushed and left them. The poem's strength comes from this gap between the casual question and the heavy confessions.
The repeated phrasing feels like someone circling what they can't say directly. Love and hatred for the other person sit side by side, and the speaker's disgust at their own reflection adds to the weight. The ending, "i'm sorry, / i probably forgot," is the most telling moment. It suggests the speaker has never really said any of this aloud and quietly apologizes for it, as if their pain were an inconvenience. The mood is raw, tired, and lonely, and it reads like a cry for someone to finally ask and listen.