sense of numbness — Summary

the cold water pours down on me but i can't feel anything because the tingles come from within where it's fighting at this point im completely numb the numb overcomes my body; i can't see, can't feel, can't hear can't touch or smell either it's funny how one second i was crying and another i was just like another monster another robot another feelingless person it was like it didn't mean anything to me but you didn't know how much it did i felt myself being pulled into the void of numbness one second i was moving and the next it was like i had faded into nothing life still continued on, everyone resumed their activities i found myself thinking, why don't they care about me? and i later realized that i was doing everything i was supposed to do except "not let the numbness, the pain get to me" that was the only task i failed and no one noticed because i was in my own small world

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Gwyn's poem describes the experience of emotional numbness, and the loneliness that comes with it. The speaker stands under cold water, yet feels nothing on the surface, while something still fights inside. Soon even that gives way, and the senses seem to shut down one by one. The speaker says they went from crying to feeling like "another robot," a "feelingless person," though the line "you didn't know how much it did" hints that the numbness hides real pain rather than a lack of it.

The second half turns outward. Life carries on, everyone goes back to their routines, and the speaker wonders why nobody cares. Then comes a quiet, painful realization: they had done everything expected of them except hide the pain, and no one noticed that one failure. The mood is flat, heavy and isolated, and the plain, unpunctuated style fits the feeling. The closing image of a "small world" leaves the speaker alone with it.

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