hiding it

I wake up earlier than I should, it's 5:45 It's fine try to sleep I toss and turn for what seems like hours But it's only been ten minutes... Did we set the alarm, why hasn't it gone off?, will it go off soon?,what if it doesn't?, if I get up now will it be too late or too early? PUSH IT DOWN! stop thinking, role over try to sleep or at least rest The alarm goes off Get up and go down stairs, what should I have for breakfast, I'm not hungry, but I should be, I need something, but I don't want anything, but dad will get mad if I don't PUSH IT DOWN! Stop thinking have a coffee grab anything Have I done the homework, did I do it right, have I done enough, do I have everything I need? books, bag, lunch, water bottle ..... lanyard! It's there keep walking, talk to your friends what was that! Were was it?!, who was it?, will it hurt me?, am in danger?! PUSH IT DOWN! Stop thinking… it was rubbish under car tiers your safe Get on the bus, find a seat What's running through my mind?, what am I thinking?, how am I feeling?, I'm going to cry but I don't want to cry, I don't want to be seen, but no one will notice but what if they do? PUSH IT DOWN! Stop thinking...your fine Keep telling yourself your fine Don't be stupid, pull yourself together Why don't I know how I feel? Just go to class! My head is spinning, my hands are shaking, I feel sick, I'm confused, what's going on?, why don't I know how I feel?, I should know how I feel but I don't, I'm going to be sick?, but I'm know I'm not, but what if I am?, I'm going to cry, no don't cry don't cry not now! Not here! PUSH IT DOWN!

Stop thinking