am I

My dad says I'm brave For managing to keep going When the world's against me I don't feel it I feel stupid For put myself in a place where people only judge me For staying when every inch of my body tells me to run, escape

My mum tells me she proud Of my positivity and resilience Of how well I'm coping She's unaware just how much I'm hiding She's unaware of how much I want to stop

My sisters say I'm capable At more than the bare minimum At more than just being annoying I don't feel it I feel so useless I feel so inadequate

My friend tell me that they care, Understand and accept me I find myself doubting them And I hate myself for doing so

But no matter what anyone says Something sits on my shoulder whispering “ They’re lying They don’t CARE NO ONE DOES You’re WORTHLESS Unwanted WEAK Unloved YOU will always be NOTHING” I don’t want to put myself down But I can’t stop this voice in my head Even if what you say is true I will always struggle to believe it This voice makes me doubt you But most of all it makes me doubt and fear

myself