Again — Poem analysis

All that thing has ever given me were scars and bad rhymes, I truly don't have a rational reason to fly back, Nevertheless, there have been so shamefully countless times When a hazy flash of a memory forced me to pack.

I don't want to plummet down a skyscraper built from glass, Ruin myself for a split second of satisfaction. Why am I acting as if life's a test I'll never pass, Making sweet daydreaming my only impassive action?

I have to pause, turn around and then walk by in a daze, Pretending to be blind and ignorant to save my soul. Words like sparks - which can only lock me in a darker maze, I could be shattered, yet I have to escape and turn whole.

Show the whole poemHide the poem

Learn Poems app

Try the Learn Poems app

Everything from the website trainer, and more: new exercises, voice recording and sharing, reminders, quick review.

The poem's most striking choice is what it leaves unsaid. The speaker talks about "that thing" and never says whether it is a person, a relationship, a habit or a place. All we learn is what it has done: it has given "scars and bad rhymes." The title, "Again," tells us this is a pattern, and the first stanza admits as much. There is no "rational reason to fly back," yet "so shamefully countless times" a "hazy flash of a memory" has made the speaker pack. The central idea is the gap between knowing and feeling. Reason says stay away, but memory pulls harder, and the poem is about the effort of resisting that pull.

"Bad rhymes" is a sly phrase in a poem that rhymes so carefully. The lines can be read as a complaint about the past, but they also hint that the speaker's own writing is bound up with the wound. Perhaps the thing that hurt is also what feeds the verse. The poem does not say so outright, but the joke on itself makes the speaker sound self-aware and a little rueful rather than simply wounded.

The form supports that tone. There are three quatrains, each rhymed ABAB (rhymes/times, back/pack; glass/pass, satisfaction/action; daze/maze, soul/whole). The lines are long, close to fourteen syllables each, and they roll on with a breathless, almost spoken quality, as if the speaker were talking themselves out of something in one anxious breath. The rhymes are mostly plain and firm, and *back/pack*, *soul/whole* and *glass/pass* land like small locks clicking shut. That tidiness is slightly ironic, because the feelings underneath are anything but tidy.

The imagery is built on opposed movements. In the first stanza the speaker flies back, a motion that sounds free but is really compulsive, since the memory "forced" the packing. In the second, the opposite motion appears: to "plummet down a skyscraper built from glass." A glass tower is transparent and brittle, a place where everything is visible and nothing is safe. Falling from it is the price of a "split second of satisfaction," a vivid way to describe a brief relapse into the old feeling that costs far more than it gives. The glass returns in the last line, where the speaker "could be shattered." So the fall is a fear about the self as well as a picture of danger.

The second stanza also holds the poem's most interesting phrase. The speaker asks why they act "as if life's a test I'll never pass," then calls "sweet daydreaming" their "only impassive action." "Impassive action" is an oxymoron, and it describes a person who is doing something while feeling that nothing is being done. The sound of *pass* in "impassive" also echoes the rhyme word *pass* two lines earlier, so failure and passivity are tied together in the language itself. Daydreaming is "sweet," which suggests that the temptation to return is partly pleasure, and that makes it harder to resist.

The last stanza shifts from longing to instructions the speaker gives themselves: "I have to pause, turn around and then walk by." The repeated "have to" suggests duty rather than desire. The strategy is odd and moving: "Pretending to be blind and ignorant to save my soul." Self-protection here means deliberate not-seeing, which is a kind of acting. The image of words "like sparks" is the most puzzling. Sparks usually mean light, yet these "lock me in a darker maze." Judging by that image, the danger may come from things said, remembered or imagined, and the fire that seems to illuminate only deepens the confusion.

The ending is careful not to promise too much. The speaker says "I could be shattered, yet I have to escape and turn whole." It is a necessity rather than a victory, and the word "turn" echoes the earlier "turn around," suggesting that wholeness comes through the same act of turning away.

What gives the poem its value is its honesty about a situation most people recognize without being able to explain it: returning to something you know is bad for you. It does not preach or claim a cure. By keeping "that thing" nameless, it lets readers fill the gap with their own experience, and it lets its disciplined rhyme and long, restless lines show how hard it is to keep walking.

Read also

More by Lucie Tambora

All poems
SadLucie Tambora

Speckle of dust

Tree leaves fall and disappear, Meanwhile, I argue with fear -a priceless petal, I'll fade as well, And I feel the end's now very near.
ContemplativeLucie Tambora

The way home

The tree line's blushing crimson, With a red lens, I'd have won -however, I haven't a thing. If I had much clearer sight,
CheerfulLucie Tambora

Ice rink

I've the ugliest ice skates in the state, And I arrived to the rink way too late, It's difficult to weave through the sea of people When they're all wondrously, flawlessly great.