Do you think?

Do you think I like being like this? Do you think I enjoy having no control over my emotions? That every emotion I feel is dependent on outside influences, especially you? Do you think I like being so dependant on you that the thought of you leaving tears me apart and sends me into a panic?

Do you think I like being angry over the smallest thing? That I like when the anger is so large and so consuming its like a raging wildfire and I am just dandelion? Do you think I like zoning out? Never remembering what people say? Do you think I like living in my own personal hell?

Because I don't