27-11-35-21-46-14-27 (TW)
let's talk about the elephant in the room the swollen eyes that stare from my walls the peeling paint that's perfectly intact and the black ink gushing from the fixture empty smiles with no teeth, all just tongues phonetic emphasis on stinging gibberish i don't know why, but i'm taking umbrage the carpet's fingers are grasping my arms and holding me down against my own will i'm sinking in deep and i'm sinking in deep the lights are so bright but i only see sable what the hell is wrong with me, 33 days i'm fighting the shadow of my reflection the disharmony of lights bitter flickering i'll just let the carpet eat me alive tonight
this poem is about sobriety from self harm. the title is a list of the intervals I've stayed clean, and the poem was written on my 33rd day of being clean. sometimes it makes feel so weak that i'm literally struggling to not hurt myself and that i can barely make it a month before breaking down completely. this poem describes the feeling of lying on my bathroom floor sobbing my eyes out because i don't want to do it but i feel like i have to sometimes. i wrote this several months previous to posting this and i will let you know i did in fact stay clean that night :)