How is it fair? (a poem of envy) 12/20/21

how is it fair? how is it fair that you get to be happy and I cant? that she gets the attention I've been wanting for years? That your dreams come true and I'm still here... suffering..without you...

lucky you! you've moved on! you're happier now that what made up my childhood is gone!

Good for you! You're healed! You're a better person now that the old life has been sealed away

Am I to suffer a different fate? One where all I do is wait? Wait to be comfortable happy content

wait to be happy again?

How is that fair? How could you?? How dare you wear that tearable happy smile on your face all the while aware of what has taken place?

I envy you your strength your resilience your ability to get back up again

I wish it were me...I wish I was happy like you...