* * *

The dark is shifting and pulling at me, if this is what they meant by the weight of the world...

it's heavy and gripping, persistent, I've tried to fight it over the years but it tries, year after year, day by day I can feel it. it's nagging at me to listen and let it in, sometimes I do and let it drag me deep to the bottom of my mind... It's been what feels like a lifetime since it's been so strong, this time I have no choice, no say; it works it's way into my lungs and I can't breath, my head spins, exhaustion sets in.

it's like a deadly poison. slow but sure, it infects my body and my mind. I can no longer feel, I can't breath, I can't sleep, I'm empty.

I am a shell to my demons, they have invaded and they almost feel like home, I do not know who I am with out them. I do not know who I am? all I know is these demons in me, becoming me.

I don't know who people are looking at, I no longer recognise myself... everything is gone, my mind, my senses, my hope... I can't smile, I can't think.

it feels like mud filling my mind until it's drowned, everything is dull and it's hard to see, hard to see a way out. I'm sinking down and I'm not sure how to get out, not this time. the mud is too thick, my lungs too full, my vision too blurred. the dark has shrouded me in it's embrace of nothing.