I took to a high
place and stayed
till I was forced by
a hole in my coat
to come home.
I almost wrote.
spring house
still keeping the milk-
snakes cool
the view from my childhood
bedroom window
I live in it now
that walnut sprout
we tried to kill with a frisbee
eating in its shade
cattails
overwhelmed by tearthumb
the purpose-driven life
If I could love you,
You'd see how much I can really care.
You'd watch as my lips broke into a smile,
See my eyes filled up with joy upon hearing your name.
I'd always be there for you,
Or not be there if that's what you needed.
I'd let you sit with me in silence,
Or I'd ask you all the questions.
If I could love you,
I'd never let you get upset.
If I saw you looking down,
I'd say your name in that tone,
That 'I'll listen if you need me to' one.
If I could love you,
I'd let you use me as a punching bag.
I'd stand there with you,
because you shouldn't worry
about mommy and daddy not being home
because you should feel love
because mommy and daddy stay home
because you shouldn't be scared
because the dressers hit the floor and the banging gets louder
because you shouldn't cry
because mommy and daddy can't do anything but fight
because you should be a little girl
not worrying if daddy is ever going to come home
little girl
Born into this world,
A different kind of guy,
An uphill struggle from the start,
Not accepted by the majority,
Not wanting to admit to this world,
What makes me different,
Dating as many girls as I can,
To try and change myself,
Not wanting to admit to myself,
What is inevitably true,
I deny myself of reality,
Hoping to please you,
The moment finally comes,
When I can deny no more,
Out to you I reach,
For acceptance and love,
Far away, beyond the green paddy fields
Beyond the thatched huts and palm tops
A hazy gray blending into darker black
Touching the shimmering white clouds
Mountains stand like sentinels.
It has been raining here; the leaves
Underfoot bear my weight in silence.
I pause – leeches, wriggling, reach out
And clamber up my legs; a flutter in the woods –
A bird? A boar? A deer? Who is it that I disturbed?
In the deep forests, everything is dark and moist.
Steam unfurls in the scattering sunlight.
Silently, I watch – across the ridge, a rock shifts –
In awe, with love, oh with so much love, a tusker in sight.
Above my head, Minivets, Scarlet, like flashes of fire.
It ain’t easy to write about love,
The blind can see better than I.
The deaf has ears sharper than mine,
The dumb has voice sweeter than mine.
What do I feel, what do I sense
I do not know what is love.
Is it sorrow, is it joy,
Is it the lust betwixt my legs?
I listen to songs, if I feel the same
I like the lines, nothing more.
I read the books, stare at the words,
Aay bee cee dee, eee eff gee.
Weary from travel, home am bound
Opens the gate- then hears the bark.
A blur of a dog leaps at me
I can’t see, for he licks my eyes.
She smells like home to me.
Dear typhoon,
you destroy the trees
don't destroy my home
oh I beg you please
the wreckage you make
is a selfish art work
that only helps your insight
its disastrous for us
please find another canvas
you already pulled our roots
scraped our hills
cleared our grass
please
please
please
don't take it all away
Missing from 'home',
Parents searching.
Can't look back,
Now I'm running.
Sirens in the distance,
Calling me there.
I grin at the pitiful,
Attempt at care.
I don't give a damn,
If they say they love me.
When all is dark,
Their true feeling I see.
And I know I can't,
Go telling people.
Why do they need,
To see how I weaken?
Nowhere to go but another hole,
another alley, another pole,
another spread, another pitch,
just more dirty sons a bitch
caught in a sweep to push us out
some show sympathy, some sow doubt.
Exterminate this Shantytown,
lives dismantled, tents torn down,
ground impounded, trash swept clean
it’s as if we’ve never been.
We’re so easy to revile,
the Jungle is our domicile.
No Favala, no Hooverville.
Home is where
the heart beats still.
A lost girl who can't find her way home?
A small girl crushed by words?
A strong emotionless woman who let's no one near her heart?
A strong girl who rips away the pain with blood and tears?
Am I Seran?
Am I Sevar?
Am I Sabrina?
Am I Casanna?
In the end
I'm all of them
Put into one small girl
But am I really all of them?
Or just one of them?
If so, which one am I?
Or am I someone else?
I don't know who I am?