Ah my oddment, my life sentence,
my spool. How you noodle
and unrevel me when you get
out of hand! The butterflies
in my stomach must be searching
for their missing mouthparts.
(Let them eat ache.)
The insecurity screeners
at the airport made me prove
I could turn you on, but in the plane
they lied and told me
you would mess with their instruments.
Everyone disapproves of us.
They hate our freedoms but love
how trackable we’ve become:
one set of footprints,
My love sends instant
messages while she works:
“I hope the reader
might surface from
a sea of paper.
I lost the cable too, but it
has just emerged—
along with a packet of tissues,
a lip salve & a hair comb—
from beneath an
ancient layer on
my desk.”
Five minutes later:
“No reader yet, but
two keys, three
xd memory cards,
We didn’t say goodbye
with our hands but
with naked branches.
(And anyway it was
more of a hello.)
You undid me the way
a fire plays a harp,
the strings singing as
they snap. (Each note
can only sound once:
an excellent discipline!)
They are still together,
your smoke & my fog.
(I feed them wood.)
Love after 50 doesn’t make the pop charts.
It’s too absurd.
Absurd as ice cubes settling in a glass
when one pours hot coffee over them,
shedding their sharp edges.
Absurd as the day-time ghost
of one’s breath on a cold morning.
Absurd as the smell of soil after a rain—
why should mere dirt outdo all other odors?
Absurd as grinding steel on
a wobbly bench grinder with a corroding belt,
that hair of sparks,
the pleasant way they prickle against the skin.
Starving and unsatisfied
Everyone is slowly rotting
Trapped in decaying flesh
Time is lost in every moment
Till we burn out and nothing is left
The sweet illusions of love
Like a lucid dream
Feels so real
And then your life is ripped from your fingers
Time passes like water tricking down a stream
Like a balloon a child lets go
The enjoyment floats into the great nothing
We keep awake at night, wondering
Painful nothings fade away
And we face the real questions
Is love just a chemical reaction
Everyday you'd tell me I'm beautiful,
You'd tell me my eyes are beautiful
Like no one else's, but they're just brown I'd reply.
Your face is pure and bright you'd say,
But my face wasn't beautiful it was dull.
Your smile lights up my day
What a cheesy thing to say but your words meant felt like a sugary topping to my day,
Your body is beautiful to me,
I don't like my body but you made me feel like a goddess.
You made me confident in myself until you crushed me down.
We have both moved on for the best
I am happy
You are happy
We are happy
Not together, but the love for each other is loud enough like a scream on a early morning
Your voice telling me "you have someone better now".
You're right I do have someone better
You tell me "you cry as if it's the end of the world"
No, I cried like that because I was with you
Now I haven't cried once because of the person I have now
I have not cried because of the people who surround me now
You talk about someone new and it pains me in my chest,
Not because I wish I could be her
Because I wish happiness for you
I then realize I have found happiness in my self and others
You called me a sweet name today,
You coated it in sugar and honey
The sweet taste of nectar made me squeal with happiness,
My pillow catching my screams of yearning for the next time you'd call me another sweet name.
Once I heard your voice once more blood rushed to my cheeks
My oh my what did I do to deserve you,
You rushed into my life like the hot feeling of my ears becoming hot when you whispered so dearly to me,
I was yours once you moved my hair behind my ear with a swift touch,
Come back and touch me once more I'd wish
you're all I could ever ask for
but you only ask for her
"I don't want 'us' anymore"
it all changed
"I don't feel the same as I did before"
I do
"I was wrong"
again and again
"I want you back"
Make me feel accepted,
Remind me it's okay to be broken,
Let me know I'm not alone,
Show me how it feels to be loved.
You-
Touch me like you really care,
Kiss me like you know I'm still afraid,
Watch me like I'm your favorite show.
You-
Love me enough for the both of us,
Hold me like you don't want to let go.
You-
Teach me how to not fake a smile.
You-
I love you.
I've been writing books about it for years-
Love, I mean-
And a lot of my readers like to tell me how good at it I am-
But then you lifted my chin and kissed me and it made that sound,
And I realized how wrong I've been.
Love isn't an escape from the pain of my past-
It's the home everyone tries to keep me away from-
Love isn't just a kiss and those 3 words,
It's the promises made with them-
The 'I'll be there for you' and the 'I won't let them hurt you-'
Love isn't an emotion,
It's a state of being-
And I am there-
Love is a song about protection,
Love is a safety blanket,
Love is a hoodie,