Reason,
Why I kissed you
Because Im scared that you leave me
Reason,
I hold your hand
Is because I'm scared to loose you
Reason,
I hug you close
Is because I'm scared you replace me
Reason,
I call for you
Is because I'm scared you'll never look at me
Reason,
I cry for you,
Is because I'm scared you'll never love me.
I remember all the silence in presence
I remember the scene, i never like the closure
I remember your eyes of insults ignored
I remember the abstract of cruelty
I remember when the missed speaks
I remember the irreplaceable victimize
I remember the dried commitments
I remember the aesthetic shadows
I remember love turns to dust
I remember when the skies cry
I remember the salt air
I remember your whispers that haunts me
I remember he is lost in the memory
I remember youre not mine like a wine
I remember back in December of colds
I remember in November of ghosts
Was it enough?
To love your heart
Now were apart
Was it enough?
When our love is real
But pretending nothing i feel
Was it enough?
When i said goodbye
And then you cry
Was it enough?
When everything turns dust
But you hold my hand
Was it enough?
When i feel alone
You come along
Was it enough?
I hate you,
The words haunting me again
I know i'd go back to you
I hate you,
The scars that's still left
I know i'd go back to you
I hate you,
Pictures of sands i walk through
I know i'd go back to you
I hate you,
Whenever i sing, its like i can hear you
I know i'd go back to you
I hate you,
Im here at the tears of ocean deep
I know i'd go back to you
I hate you,
I was blind when you said you were busy
I was blind when you said you loved me
I was blind when you didn't pick me up
I was blind when you didn't show up
I was blind when you didn't answer my call
I was blind when you hang up
I was blind when you told me was my fault
I was blind when you kissed me
I was blind when you saud I have no right to be jealous
I was blind when you said was only your friend
I was blind when you told me I'm the only one
I was blind when you said I was your future
I was blind in everything,
I'm blind now I see you someone walking down the aile.
I'm blind because I just loved you so.
I said "Okay."
Thought I wanted attentions,
Your time,
Your cuddles,
Your hugs,
Your calls,
Your voices,
Your texts,
Your words,
Your I love you.
I'm okay.
Another December without you
I hold my warm coffee
Sitting outside my house
Dreaming you came.
I miss your voice
I miss your smile
And that moments for a while
I miss your touch
I miss your hugs
And that moments for a while
I miss your kiss
I miss your three words
And that moments for a while
I miss how we walk under that street light
I miss how we slowly dance
And that moments for a while
I forgot that I'm not the only one
Who's trying to win your wild precious heart.
I forgot that I'm not the only one
Whose heart's being pricked by a thousand darts.
I try to surpress what I think is vile:
A simple act; my heart beats and it skips.
By standing by the sides, watching you smile,
Always, it brings a curve up to my lips.
Sometimes I think I'll go crazy.
At times, my world feels kinda hazy.
But it's fine, I'm ok.
So long as I don't look at this cruel display.
What's wrong with me?
Am I not the way you'd thought I'd be?
Am I doing something wrong?
Was I not smart enough? Not strong?
I really try to be nice,
Yet sometimes you're cold as ice.
You're sending me mixed intelligence,
And it seems to me we've got no resonance.
What to do? What to say?
Do I leave? Should I stay?
Leave you be, or stick around?
Turn tail and flee, or stand my ground?
When no one else was there,
You were the first one I could count on,
You always seemed to care.
But nothing lasts forever
In the end, you changed.
You said I was your first choice,
But now I am just an option.
I used to believe in you
You made me happy.
I miss everything that was real about you,
You were the only one who kept me going.
Now I am left alone.
I didn't know that being alone was this hard.
I know you've moved on , at least you're happy.
But I don't know why I keep getting angry.
Why was it easy for you to forget
Days pass and I am Unnoticed,
By the girl I have been dreaming of,
By the girl who made everything in my life a little better.
By the one girl who can steal my heart but I can't steal hers.
I wish it was me, not another fool,
With each passing hour, minute, second,
Everything stops when I see her,
But to her, I am nothing but..
A friend.
At least to her;not to me.
Somewhere in between our laughs and jokes.. I fell.
Hard.
I wish I didn't have to fall like that,
It hurt.
The feeling of uncertainty,
Knowing she'd pick anyone over me.