You grow enthusiastically depressed over being loveless
The moonlight kissing my skin under the purple skies
My vision faded from red to an igneous blue
An indefinite color with such a hue
Then the lights flickered later
I'm desperate to get some
Love from a character
That doesn't even
Exist but in the
Temptation of
The Moon my
Fictional
Admirer
Has just
Fallen
For
I still wonder why, I'm at the bottom looking up
it's so far but I've never wanted anything more
and even though I know that every time I reach out
theres something, fragile that will break
and make me fall
But it's the fall I need the most
something to shake me, wake me up
and show me that I'm still here, and you're still there above me.
The fall that knocks me back into reality
that reminds me you're still happy
and as long as you're still happy
I will always be content
to climb and fall, again and again.
I love you
More than I could possibly ever love myself
It tears me apart inside but you keep me together
As if your love connects my heart to my soul and my soul to my mind
My inner demons disappear with your presence
They re-appear to attack the moment your voice and touch leaves my mind and body
There is something extraordinary about you
I think it's the magic in your love
The only down fall is I'm not sure whether the magic effects my demons or myself more.
I hate that I still love you
I hate looking at your blue eyes or brown hair
I hate seeing you around
I hate how we used to non stop talk then you started ignoring me
I hate that your with her
I hate your beautiful smile
I hate how you haven't noticed I blocked you
I hate when you tag me in pictures
I hate when you do everything you do but for some damn reason I can't hate you and I hate that and I hate this and I hate myself
Finding
It hard
To
Remind
Myself
Not to
Think
Of you
We were perfect.
Really, we were.
Almost every hour, minute, second, I was yours.
It all felt unreal, like a tale.
You were mine.
I was yours.
We were perfect lovers.
Yet we fell apart.
Why is it that every time I try to help
I hurt you
Every time I try to please
I enrage you
I’m bad luck
How can you love me?
I’d do anything for you
But everything I do has the opposite effect
How can you look upon me with lust?
I do cruel things to your love
I say I’m sorry for doing these things to you
Why don’t you punish me
Throw me away
I don’t deserve you
But all you say is sorry
Sorry for making you feel like you have to apologize
In my life I tried to act strong
Trying to take all the slaps and punches
Though they did it thinking I could take it
Doesn’t make it right
They didn’t see the bruises they left
The tears that were shed
They didn’t see me dying inside
I wanted to live up to my appearance
But only tortured myself in the process
Only someone who doesn’t understand
Would say to me that it was my fault
I should stand up for myself
But they don’t know
I’m able to but I don’t
People see me as dangerous
Cause of my appearance
First loves aren’t made to last
But are the beginnings of everything
First kiss
The first of many
First breakup
The first of many
It’s the start of everything
The touch
The feeling
You long for more
The high of love
But also the pain of love
It keeps you coming back
But all things end eventually
You realize things you’ve never had before
Look back on things that didn’t mean much till now
It’s hard for me to love myself
When you don’t love me
Every time I get a bit big
I realize I’m just the same as I was
I’m never gonna change
I can’t change
But you just go on living
Be the person I want to be
Take my life for your own
It only makes sense I guess
The perfect one shall live
The messed up one dies
The better for the worse
"Some people don't know what they have until it's gone."
But what about the ones who do know?
The ones who never took a damn thing for granted?
Who tried their hardest to hold on, yet could only look helplessly while they lost the thing they loved the most?
"Isn't it so much worse for them?"
"My heart melts for him."
Why is this how we describe being in love.
My melting heart;
A symbol of love, not sorrow or pain.
"My heart melts for him."
Where does my heart go, once it's melted?
Into my gut where the butterflies are found?
Into my toes where the tingles begin?
Where does my heart go?
"My heart melts for him."
Such an odd phrase we use to describe love,
But I know what it means,
I know what it feels like, for...
My heart melts for him!