It's Midnight and I'm thinking of you.
I wish I could sleep
But my mind races to you at random moments of the night.
I wish you would vanish from my mind so I can finally get a good night sleep.
It's 12:04am and I'm trying my best to sleep
All I can think about are memories we haven't created yet
Memories waiting to be planted and blossom
I'm thinking about you
If your hair is long...blonde maybe
Maybe you have green eyes that sparkle like a gem
I wonder what my name sounds like coming from your lips
And if you'll finally be the one for me.
I wrap you up like a blanket and snuggle you so close I'm scared you'll suffocate.
Eyes fluttering,
Open.
Hands beginning,
Movement.
Blurry,
Surroundings.
Unsure,
Choices.
Aching, stiff,
Bones.
From being,
Broke.
Years of,
Slumber.
No real,
Number.
Blurred senses,
Distant talking.
Gentle sounds,
Of the sea.
Drowsy movements,
Barely walking.
Trying to fall,
Into blissful sleep.
Unsteady steps,
Coughing and shaking.
Reality feels,
Like a dream.
Feverish mumbles,
Stumbling and breaking.
Illness is going to be,
The death of me.
Eyelids closing,
Then reopening.
Contemplating reasons,
For my existing.
Stars are blinking,
Moon is staring.
The night is listening,
For my breathing.
A memory surfaces,
Causing weeping.
My mind is awake,
Body is sleeping.
The chair creaks as
I rise from it;
god, what a horrid
sound.
As I walk through
the room, the dust
scatters from me
like scared little bugs.
I tear those
sickeningly yellow
curtains
away from their charge
and flinch
at the equally
revolting
sun.
A flutter of my eyes
As I lay down my head
Off goes the light
And I'm lying in bed
To sleep, to sleep
I must go at last
The time to wake
Has long since been passed
Yet I do not go
My mind's in a race
My body's on earth,
My thoughts are in space
Wond'ring my purpose
And who I'll be
A dream, a dream
Is all I see
Tired are your thoughts
Tired is your mind
But you can not fall asleep
Or you'll be left behind
Friend, there are certain sounds I love at night,
like the ongoing opera of the crickets,
the one-note sonata of an owl in a nearby tree,
or, should I be lying by the lake, the furious
but curiously calming encroachment and retreat
of the waves, or even the primal, contagious howls
of a thousand wild adolescents at Nelson Ledges,
shouting all night like lemurs,
their brains too stuffed with serotonin to sleep.
But the noises your lover makes with you
would not be welcome to my ears
were it noon in the middle of summer, let alone midnight,
then one-ten, two-thirty, three-fifteen and four.
It’s impossible to sleep when her piercing moans
nearly perforate my eardrum, so please let me know
It hurts
Some nights,
I can't sleep
They say-
"it's normal"
But do they really know
Or are they,
just guessing?
It's getting worse
For two weeks now
Will it ever stop?
Or will it only get worse?
The question proposed,
Tests conducted,
Application filled,
Interview given,
Hypotheticals abound,
Preparing for the best and worst,
Cautiously confident,
Yet doubts persist,
The phone sits beside me,
My eyes focused on it,
As I nibble on my nails,
Rock on my chair,
The minutes become hours,
Hours become days,
Thoughts racing upstairs,
Being unable to sleep,