the bed creates a crevasse for me to fall into
i cant get out of it
people are trying to pull me out
but i refuse
it's so
warm
there's no one to hurt me here
i can hear the yelling
i can hear stuff breaking
i can hear crying
but i'm away from it
i don't care about them anyways
they didn't care for me
i grab out my phone and let the light shine onto my face
no one has messaged me
as per usual
Finally
Its been a year without you there were ups and down
But I made out alive without you
I'm okay now I still dwell on the past but I'm okay
So I'm going to say my last words to you
Goodbye
I hand out umbrellas every day
My tears rain down endlessly
Because people would rather get soaked.
To some a hero
To others a rollmodle
The person you look up to
A protector
Someone who keeps the monsters away
Someone who dusts you off when you fall
A friend
Someone you play ball with
Someone you mess around with
But to me a Dad
Is someone who forgets to call
Someone who disappears for years on end
Someone who forgets his promises
But most importantly he is someone who
I can't rely on
Someone who would rather raise someone else's child instead of his own
Beyond burnt, I plead - mercy, mercy, peace.
Beyond hurt, I pray - mercy, mercy, ease.
With the vivid imagery of fire in mind,
It's impossible to forget all the vows that bind
-I've promised, I've sacrificed, and more.
If there ever was one, I closed my escape door.
The flames were always described as cleansing
-the best way to get rid of every dark thing.
If one's terrified of reflecting their past,
Maybe they shouldn't - it should be the last
Time they ever do anything like that
And don't hear: "you liar, you filthy rat."
Beyond burnt, I plead - mercy, mercy, peace.
The memories in my head keep buzzing like bees,
I want to get away from them, to come clean,
To accept the past's wha truly has been.
I saw you, I held you in my arms,
Since then, I wish no harms
Ever go your way.
Every word I utter, say,
Should be devoted to you,
Express how my love is true
-my child, my dearest, my bird.
I desire to give you everything
While you stay under my safe wing
-sunshine and golden sand,
Dearest, give me your hand
And I'll navigate through the storm
From the tilted stage to flat platform
-my child, my dearest, my bird.
I sit in bed wide awake late at night,
The empty house doesn't feel right
Lately I'm feeling alone,
Everything I hear has an off undertone,
Instead of natural light,
No color ever appears right,
And looking around,
There's only me and the ground.
I realize now
That I've become a kind-of hungry crow
-sitting on a pole,
Offer me a finger, I'll eat your arm whole,
Yet once they all leave,
There's nothing I could achieve.
Does it make sense
To desire a picket fence
While being picky
And falsely calling all tricky
If I could force the Sun
To fight me, one-on-one,
I'd lose yet reach my goal
-while the light burnt me whole,
I'd feel fully content,
For my own will'd be bent
By myself, the fallen,
The one who's crestfallen
While I've myself to blame
For ruining me - the shame
Never washes away,
I led myself astray
Just like a shooting star
-unimportant and small.
From me to my own soul
-you've got a simple role
Tree leaves fall and disappear,
Meanwhile, I argue with fear
-a priceless petal, I'll fade as well,
And I feel the end's now very near.
A speckle of dust bathed in sunlight,
Barely noticeable even when it's bright
And forgotten quickly - that is me,
Though the position did never feel right.
An unimportant moment of grace
Will end, punching me in the face
With the twisted joy of reality.
'You, sweet, won't even leave a trace.'
While I never considered screams
The pathway to reach my wildest dreams,
It now seem like I've run out of time,
I have to step into the blinding beams.
There's an unexpected tranquility
In falling into inability
-but then, no duty and no self-control
Will turn into one's disability.
How to work, when the least is hard enough,
Once after a break nobody acts tough?
Forcing oneself to become a mere bot...
A great facade, yet the edges stay rough.
It may take months for a simplistic soul
To regain its energy and turn whole
-exhaustion, as well as life in itself,
Do enjoy making one lose all control.
Such a terrible sin, a shameful act,
And with terrifying long-term impact...
Even when one leaves those bad days behind,
Their hidden presence becomes a dark fact.
All statues are born the same
-needle-thin, flawless and without shame,
Photogenic and cute, with a smile
For the few moments while they haven't a frame.
Everyone likes sparkling things,
Yet only the beasts offer the rings
Once clock strikes noon and the chances fade,
Most of the butterflies lose their vivid wings.
Years pass, all's covered in sand,
Life gets rusty, depressing rebrand,
Nothing, nowhere and no time to hide,
One never receives a single helping hand.
All statues are lost the same
-crumbling and without their own name.
Devastated by being let down,
They freeze, losing the metaphorical game.
Something important has ended right now,
Entities switched onto another row,
I feel clueless and I want to know how,
For all the temple's pillars have fallen,
Everything is crestfallen,
I'm drowning in ink
While everyone else says it's pollen;
A bird cage blurred into a flower field,
Vibrant colors used as an optimistic shield
In the middle of a violent battlefield
-sophisticated yet short honest words
Instead of iron double-handed swords,
Misunderstanding's lethal,
Those who seek always chirp like birds
That can turn into mythical creatures
With surprisingly human-like features